


Who Are You To Me?

by Chrystie, kate882



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Amnesia, But written with no knowledge of what will happen in 3B, M/M, Set after 3A
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-18 20:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19342114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrystie/pseuds/Chrystie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate882/pseuds/kate882
Summary: When the hooded assassin from the League of Shadows started following Dick he wasn't really sure why it was happening or what to expect from it. Jason Todd, back from the dead and missing his memories from before his death, wouldn't have come close to his list of guesses though.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Me seeing Jason appear to have some kind of memory loss and nothing to explain that in 3A: It's free realestate   
> Crysty pointing out that the second half of the new season comes out in a few days and we hadn't posted this yet: it's free realestate for a limited time frame 
> 
> memeing aside, I'm going to try to get this out before the new season starts and throws everything we wrote right into that AU category. So expect very fast updates with longer chapters than I'd have made were there not a time crunch. The story itself is already written out, I've just got to finish betaing and posting. Warnings will be placed at the beginning of chapters as needed. So now that that house keeping is out of the way, thanks for checking this out and I hope you guys like it.

Someone had been tailing Dick for last four blocks, and from the red cloak it looked like it was the hooded assassin from the League of Shadows. Why he was following Dick though he had no idea. Well … there was only one way to figure out.

Dick lured him towards a dead end alleyway and dropped down.

The assassin jumped back several feet, drawing out his sword, but didn’t move forward to actually use it against Dick.

Dick wasn’t a big fan of attacking first, but he also wasn’t too crazy about getting caught off guard, so he held his escrima sticks up ready to defend himself and waited for the assassin to make the first move.

“Is there a reason for the unexpected visit?”

He didn’t get an answer, the assassin instead looking around like he was trying to find an exit around Dick. When none appeared, Dick found himself dodging a set of throwing stars while the hooded assassin made to run past him.

It wasn’t exactly easy fighting the assassin considering most members of the league were so highly trained and skilled, but he did manage to trip him and get him to stop his attempt to escape, his hood falling back to reveal messy black hair while he struggled to get out of Dick’s hold.

“Nice to see you’re the strong silent type. Any chance of you breaking out of character and telling me why you’re following me?”

He wasn’t expecting an answer, but after another moment of failing to get out of Dick’s grasp the assassin made eye contact, or as close as he could with that thing on his face, before speaking, sounding unsure of himself. “You are...Gray-son.”

“Well nice to see Ra’s is keeping our identities to himself,” Dick muttered mostly to himself. “Was there something you needed from me?”

“No, Ra’s didn’t-“ the assassin shook his head, going from uncertainty to frustration. “He doesn’t know I’m here.” He finally flipped them so that he was the one pinning Dick. “He  _ can’t know  _ I was here,” he insisted, squeezing Dick’s wrists too tightly.

“Okay,” Dick winced slightly at the grip. “No worries there, I’m not exactly on Ra’s good side and don’t ever plan to be.”

“Who are you, Nightwing Gray-Son?” The assassin demanded, loosening his grip just enough that Dick didn’t have to worry about his wrists getting snapped at the assurance that he wouldn’t rat the guy out to his boss.

“Sounds like you have a pretty good idea of who I am. I think the real question should be who are  _ you _ ?”

“I am Red Hood, a weapon for the Al Ghuls. I answered your question, you answer mine now.”

“I am Nightwing, protector of Bludhaven. Again, it feels like you already know that.”

“I know Nightwing, I want to know about Gray-son,” he countered.

“See that feels a little counterproductive with the whole secret identity thing.” Not that his identity had been feeling very secret as of late.

“I answered your question,” Red Hood reminded him.

Dick would’ve countered that Red Hood hadn’t really given him much, but given the way he was acting and how he’d introduced himself, it was likely his mind wasn’t all there. “Well first of all it’s just Grayson and second of all, it depends on who’s asking.”

“Grayson,” Red Hood mumbled like he was testing the word. “I am asking. I asked the question.”

“Yeah, but who are you to me? Who am I to you? I could tell you I’m an acrobat, but that’s not really what you want.”

“Who are you to me?” Red Hood repeated, and then he suddenly released one of Dick’s wrists to grab at his own head with a pained sound.

God what had the league done to this guy’s mind? He hadn’t really thought the league messed with mind control or mind wiping. “If you want help remembering, I might know someone who can help.”

“No-I-“ he’d completely released Dick now. “Why do I know your face? Why do I know you are Grayson?” He dropped his hands, catching his breath as the pain seemed to pass.

“I can’t really tell you that unless I know who you are too.” Because clearly Red Hood knew who he was, it wasn’t too far of a stretch to think that he should also know who he is.

“I am Red Hood. I  _ told _ you already.” He moved off of Dick, establishing some space between them.

“But who are you under the mask? You weren’t always Red Hood. Who were you before?”

“I don’t...understand.” He leaned against the alleyway wall for support, putting a hand to his head again.

“I’m Nightwing, but under the mask I’m Grayson. Who are you under the mask?” He wasn’t sure Red Hood knew his first name, and while it didn’t do much for hiding his identity, it didn’t really do much good for him to just give it to the assassin.

“I am Red Hood with or without the mask.” 

“And who were you before Red Hood?”

“I don’t know!” His grip on his hair looked painful. “So why do I know that you are Grayson?”

“Okay, okay, it’s okay,” Dick held his hands up, approaching him slowly, “We can figure it out together.”

“The League does not work ‘together’ with Bats,” Red Hood told him like he was quoting someone else. So there was a chance Dick wasn’t the first person he’d asked about this.

“I imagine League members also don’t do a lot of things without Ra’s’ approval, so I think it’s safe to just keep going with your gut.”

“This is not safe,” Red Hood told him flatly.

“Not really what I meant. What I’m trying to say is you’ve already broken one rule to try and get some answers, breaking one more can’t be that bad.”

Red Hood just stared at him for a moment, but at least he didn’t seem like he was trying to tug his hair out anymore. “You do not understand rule breaking,” Red Hood concluded.

“Old habits die hard,” Dick waved off. “So, how about we try and figure out who you are, er, were.”

“...how?” He sounded skeptical, which Dick supposed was fair. He hadn’t done anything to earn the guy’s trust yet, just given him some painful looking headaches.

“Well, I’d say the first step is to probably take off the mask, but I don’t think you trust me enough for that yet, which means we’re just going to have to go on the last thing you remember before the league.”

“I do not,” he said simply.

“You don’t trust me or you don’t remember anything before the league?”

Red Hood tilted his head as he looked at Dick. “Yes,” he decided on.

“Right, great. I guess we’re just going to have to find a new starting point.”

“Talia wants me to wait for the memories,” Red Hood told him. “But… I want to know.” Maybe he wasn’t actually telling Dick, but trying to work it out for himself. “I can’t trust Nightwing. But Grayson might have answers. And I am Red Hood even without the mask.” He didn’t sound certain of any of what he was saying, and his hands were shaking a bit, but he still reached up and pulled the mask off of his face.

Dick felt his breath leave him. Everything seemed to stop and all he could focus on, all he could see was a face he never thought he’d get the chance to see again outside of the Hall of Heroes. “Jason?” He felt himself breathe out. He was a little older, his face a little more defined, but there was no doubt that this was Jason. Jason who had supposedly died years ago.

“Jason?” Jason repeated back at him before he seemed to get hit with another wave of pain, crumpling to the ground and holding his head between his knees.

Dick, forgetting all his reservations and Jason’s hesitance to trust him, ran up to him to pull him into his arms. “I’ve got you, Jay.”

Jason halfheartedly tried to shove Dick off of him, but was in no state to be trying to do anything physical like shoving at the moment.

Dick had so many questions. Questions that Jason obviously couldn’t answer and with Jason in pain from just learning his own name, he wasn’t sure what he could do for him other than just hold him.

“I have to- I have to go,” Jason said after a few seconds to recover himself. “This isn’t working, and I’ve been gone too long.”

Dick’s first instinct was to clutch harder to Jason. He’d already lost him once, he couldn’t do it again. But he also knew Jason was currently under the League of Shadows and they would notice if he was gone. “It is working. You know your name now, before Red Hood. I know who you are.”

“I am still broken,” Jason frowned down at his trembling hands. “My mind is not … ready, for that information.”

“No, I guess it’s not. And I know they’ll be looking for you.” With a sigh and a heavy heart, Dick let go of Jason. “But I have the answers you want, whenever you want them.”

Jason picked up his mask and secured it over his face. He nodded once to Dick and then he left.

Dick had to force himself to not chase after him. He knew this was how it had to be for Jason to stay safe among the ranks of the League, which was apparently all Jason knew at the moment. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt watching someone he cared about so much, someone he thought was dead, leave. He had confidence that Jason would be back. He already searched for him once, looking for answers, he was likely to do it again, now knowing that Dick absolutely had those answers.

He also knew he couldn’t tell the others yet. Jason wouldn’t be on their side if they tried to extract him from the League, which is exactly what they’d try to do. Someone would get hurt, and there was a decent chance it’d be Jason. 

So he had to let him go and pretend to not be shaken up when he went to check in on the new kids the next morning, and just hope he’d see Jason again soon.

He might have thought it was a dream when he woke up the next morning until he saw the clearly hand shaped bruises around his wrists from when Jason had panicked over the idea of Ra’s finding out he’d tracked Dick down.

So Jason was real, Dick assured himself. He just had to wait him out.

* * *

Sure enough, a few weeks later, Jason was following him again.

He didn’t reveal himself until Dick almost got hurt patrolling Bludhaven, dropping down nearly silently and running his sword into the man who had been about to shoot Dick from behind, killing him before the man could even scream. Dick was alerted to what was happening by the sound of the man’s body and gun hitting the ground when Jason pulled his sword out of him.

Dick was next to the man, on his knees, in an instant, trying his best to put pressure on the wound, to stop the bleeding, but it was too late. The man was gone. “Jay, what did you do? We don’t-“ but that wasn’t really true for Jason at the moment. Jason was with the League of Shadows, his memories wiped. Jason couldn’t even remember his own name let alone their code to never kill. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“He was going to hurt you,” Jason answered, and Dick could hear the frown in his voice.

“You didn’t have to kill him; you could’ve just knocked him out.” Dick stood, there was nothing he could do for the man but alert the police so they could find him.

Jason shook his head, putting his sword away. “He might have come for you again. I don’t understand. I helped you, why are you upset?”

Dick felt his anger dissolve. He wasn’t happy that there was now a dead man he was, in part, responsible for, but Jason sounded so confused and he still sounded lost and Dick just wanted to gather him in his arms again. “Thank you for helping me, but unlike what Ra’s teaches you, you don’t need to kill, and you shouldn’t.”

“I am a weapon for the Al Ghuls. Killing is my primary purpose,” Jason told him.

“No it’s not, and that’s not who you are, or at least it wasn’t who you were.” Dick looked back down at the body, frown etched on his face. He knelt back down to close the man’s eyes. “We can talk, but not here. I just need to call someone to pick up these guys.”

Jason nodded, standing by and alert while Dick made the call and wordlessly trailed behind him when it was time to go.

Dick led him to one of his safehouses in Bludhaven, one that the Team didn’t know about. While he trusted Jason, he wasn’t exactly himself at the moment and he was still working under the League. Taking him somewhere the Team could visit or his apartment was a bad idea. The first thing Dick did once they were inside was strip off his blood stained gloves. He couldn’t wear those any longer.

Jason stood awkwardly by the door and Dick slowly reached for his mask. “Can I?”

Jason hesitated, but after a few seconds nodded his assent.

Dick pulled it off and it took his breath away to see those beautiful blue green eyes again. He peeled his own mask off just so it would feel fair and maybe seeing his face would spark something for Jason.

Jason reached forward tracing Dick’s cheekbone with his hand, a gesture too gentle for someone who had just killed a man with no hesitation not even thirty minutes ago. “Dick Grayson,” he said, dropping his hand. He winced slightly, but didn’t look on the verge of collapsing this time. “I have been practicing attempting to remember,” he told Dick, sounding almost proud of himself, and touching his head to indicate the pain he’d been in. 

“That’s good. What else do you remember without it hurting?”

“I remember…” Jason’s brows furrowed. “Digging. And other children. And Talia.”

He wasn’t too sure what to take from digging, and Talia was obviously not what he was looking for, but other children was something that he could probably work with. Dick gently reached for his hand and pulled him towards the couch he kept in the safe house. “What kind of other children?”

“What do you mean? Children,” Jason used his hand to gesture a smaller height before letting Dick sit him down.

“Just children? Not children with powers or in costumes?” Dick pointed at his own suit.

“Oh,” Jason said, realization seeming to hit him and he shook his head. “No, just… children. Living outside. We helped each other before Talia.”

Children before Talia. And digging? Dick didn’t like where his mind was going. Because before Jason’s showed up looking for answers, Dick and the rest of the family had been sure that Jason was dead. They’d been to his funeral, they’d buried him. They’d buried him.

“You said digging?”

“Before the children I think. It’s not… connected well. In my head.”

“Can you just tell me which way you were digging? Up or down?”

“Up. I had to dig out,” Jason frowned at the memory, touching his throat lightly. “I couldn’t breath so I had to dig out.”

Dick felt his composure crack and he pulled Jason into a hug. “Oh Jay.” Jason had been through so much and none of them had known. None of them had even noticed his grave was disturbed.

“What are you doing?” Jason asked stiffly, his body tense in Dick’s hold.

“Giving you a hug, but I guess it’s mostly for my sake.” Dick pulled away slightly to give him a small smile that he didn’t feel.

“Do you know what any of it means?” Jason asked him.

“I can hazard a guess, but I don’t know if you’re mind’s ready for the information.” If just telling Jason his name was enough to give him crippling head pains then telling him he’d died or at least was convincingly dead wasn’t going to have any better results.

The determined set Jason got to his jaw was almost achingly familiar, throwing Dick back to all of the times Jason would insist that he was going to become a better Robin than Dick had been, usually followed by him trying to fight Dick. “That is why I have been practicing. I want to know who Jason is.”

Dick still didn’t think breaking to Jason that he’d been dead was a good idea yet but, well, he was weak to Jason’s determination. “How about we start at the beginning with how we know each other.”

Jason narrowed his eyes at Dick and he could practically see the gears turning as Jason tried to decide what he wanted to know more. Finally though he gave in and nodded.

Dick leaned back as he started to retell Jason of how he became Robin. How Dick had just let go of the name while Batman found him trying to steal the wheels off the Batmobile. He kept a steady gaze on Jason, making sure he didn’t react too badly to any of the new information. He looked pained, but not as bad as before. Although Dick couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t just better at hiding it now that he expected it.

“I worked with Batman?” He asked, sounding a little disbelieving.

“Yeah,” Dick smiled, “And with me and the Team.” He’d been a little resentful that Bruce had so quickly replace him at the time, but Jason had grown on him. It was hard not to when Jason was full of determination and vigour. Sure he was also an angry kid, but weren’t they all just a little quick tempered.

Jason seemed a little disquieted by this information, which Dick supposed made sense. Batman probably wasn’t popular with the League, although Talia would have certainly known who Jason was and was planning to use him because of that.

Jason seemed aware of that too, quick on the uptake even without full command over his mind. “But Talia knows…” he trailed off, frowning down at his hands.

“Yeah,” Dick placed a hand over Jason’s, “And so should Ra’s”

“...I should go,” Jason said, pulling his hand away.

“Jay, I know this is a lot to take in, and I know it might be hard to just believe me at my word. At the very least believe me when I say that we’ve missed you. We’ve never stopped missing you.”

“Because I died.” Jason said it very surely, but he didn’t look in pain, so Dick had to guess he’d put it together rather than remembered it.

“Yes. Not being able to save you is something we’ve never been able to forgive ourselves for.” There was no way he could let Jason leave again without letting Bruce know this time, but Dick highly doubted Jason would agree to seeing Batman. He also didn’t think Bruce would believe him if he just casually mentioned that Jason was back from the grave. He didn’t really want to betray Jason’s trust by having Batman surprise them, but Bruce deserved to see him. So while Jason’s eyes weren’t on him, he turned sent a quick message to Oracle, telling her to send Bruce his coordinates and tell him not to come as Batman.

Jason looked at the window and then back to Dick, clearly debating with himself before finally settling on Dick. “How?”

Dick felt himself gnawing at his lip before realizing he was doing it at the memory. He knew it was pointless blaming himself, something he told Bruce countless times despite knowing exactly how Bruce felt.

“You were lured into a trap.” He started. “You were looking for your birth mom and while you found her, you also found out she was the trap.” He couldn’t tell Jason about the Joker. He didn't know how that would affect him. “There was an explosion,” He settled with instead of going with the details. “Batman tried to stop you. Told you to sit tight and let him figure out what was going on, but you were never a fan of sitting still when there was something you could do. It’s a trait all of us share. And I-“ Dick still felt the pang of guilt every time he thought about it. “I wasn’t there. I was on another mission in another country. When I found out that you’d gone… I didn’t make it in time. Neither did Batman. I’m sorry.”

Jason was holding his head again, and Dick wondered if maybe he’d said too much or if Jason’s brain had decided to fill in the details. But it seemed that wasn’t the case because he finally looked up at Dick and said, “No. My mother… she died. I found her.”

“The one that raised you?”

Jason’s brows furrowed. “I… do not know. I just remember finding her. On a bathroom floor. She had overdosed.”

Definitely the one who had raised him. “She raised you. Batman took you in after she had died. You found out years later that she wasn’t your biological mom.”

Jason looked like he was going to ask another question but a knock came at the door, and he was suddenly on his feet, sword drawn and looking around for his mask.

“It’s okay,” Dick held his hands up placatingly as he got up to get the door.

Jason didn’t look convinced, but he did lower his sword, eyeing Dick suspiciously as he pointedly didn’t put it away.

“I’m sorry Jay, but I know he’d want to see you, and I think you’ll want to talk with him too.” Dick opened the door to reveal Bruce whose eyes immediately narrowed on Jason.

“What is this?”

Jason’s grip on his sword tightened and he took a step back closer to the window.

“Bruce, it’s Jason. It’s really Jason.”

Bruce didn’t look convinced, but Dick had known Bruce long enough to know where to look. There was the slightest hint of hope and maybe fear in his eyes. “And how are you sure?”

“I’m sure, Bruce. Trust me. He doesn’t have all of his memories.”

“You did not tell me you were involving Batman in this,” Jason accused, eyes flicking to Dick before quickly returning to watching Bruce wearily.

“No, but I think it would help you to talk with him too.” Dick gave Bruce an imploring look. He didn’t look like he was going to shut down what Dick was asking of him immediately which was the most Dick could ask for at the moment.

“I assume this would be talking about the lost memories.” He wouldn’t say Jason’s name. He wasn’t sure if it was really Jason yet.

_ “No,” _ Jason said firmly, taking another step back towards the window, tensed like he was in pain again and trying not to show it in front of Bruce.

“Please Jay?” Dick took a confident step towards Jason that he didn’t feel, putting trust in the fact that Jason remembered him, or tolerated him, enough to not stab him. “Just see what you can ask him for a few minutes?”

“I can ask you,” Jason luckily didn’t look like he was planning to run Dick through. “I _ have  _ asked you.” 

Dick stepped close enough to place a hand over Jason’s which were both clutching the hilt of the sword, and placed his other on his shoulder. “He has answers too, some that I don’t have. We both care about you.”

“He is Batman,” Jason argued, finally turning his attention to Dick since Dick was the one actually touching him at the moment.

“And you can trust him, or at the very least trust me.”

Bruce had managed to drop some of his hardened demeanor some time during that display. It was easier to see the hope shine through with the slightly softened look. “How?”

“Bit of a complicated story that I don’t know if Jason wants to go over again.”

“I dug out of a grave. Lived outside with children. Talia found me. I almost drowned in the Lazarus pit,” Jason answered curtly, stepping away from Dick’s hands so he could look at Bruce again.

Dick could see that moment of guilt and grief that Dick had felt earlier flash through Bruce. There was one detail Dick had not gotten earlier. “They threw you in the pit?”

Jason glanced over at him and nodded like he saw nothing wrong with that, and it occurred to Dick that that was probably Jason’s first actual memory before he’d seen Dick, nearly drowning in magical water.

“And the side effects?” Bruce asked after what looked like a few seconds of inner contemplation.

Jason stared at him blankly for a moment before answering. “....I have no comparison.”

There another few seconds of Bruce just silently contemplating before he finally stepped further into the safehouse. “How much do you remember?”

“My…” Jason looked at Dick and frowned, “not mother? And Grayson.”

“I wouldn’t call her your not mother,” Dick said with a small smile.

“Just Dick in general or a specific moment?” Bruce continued with his questioning.

Jason shook his head. “No just… just Grayson. His name.”

“Then I suppose we have a bit of work to do in recovering your memory.” And Bruce offered one of those rare smiles, “It’s good to see you again, Jason.”

Jason looked a little lost, probably not sure how to respond to that from someone he didn’t remember and was considered his enemy at the League. He didn't end up needing to respond though, because Jason ended up clutching at his head again, dropping his sword to do so, and perhaps Dick should have warned Bruce that poking at Jason’s memory seemed to lead to head pains.

Dick gently drew Jason back towards the couch while Bruce set himself down a safe distance for Jason to keep some level of comfort once his head pains calmed down. It disturbed them both, having to watch Jason be in pain and not knowing how to help or what to do about it. Bruce could only silently watch as Dick held him in a light grip.

Jason finally seemed to calm down a little, relaxing his grip on his hair slowly until he could finally let go.

“Despite Bruce being here now, I think it’s a good time to stop memory searching for one night.” Bruce didn’t look like he disagreed but he did look like he was tempted to ask Jason more questions.

Jason ignored Dick for the moment, eyes focused on Bruce. “I remembered you. I was … some sort of ill, and we watched movies. In costume.”

“Yes,” There was a warmed look that passed over Bruce’s eyes, “You had the flu. We stayed in that night.”

“It felt important,” Jason told him.

“It was one of the few times we managed to spend some time together without it being about work or something getting in the way.”

“It seems like it meant a lot to me then.”

“It means a lot to me too.” Dick knew it did. Jason only offhandedly mentioned it to Dick once, but when Dick had asked Bruce about it (because it seemed odd for Jason to mention it at all at the time) Bruce had a genuinely happy look to his face as he told him that he thought Jason was starting to feel more at home.

Jason stared at Bruce like he was trying to figure out a puzzle, and Dick could guess that he was thinking about his earlier realization that Talia was planning to use him to take Bruce out.

“Jay?” Dick said quietly.

It seemed to startle Jason out of his thoughts because his eyes shot over to Dick.

“You okay?” Dick pulled his arms from around Jason to give him his space again.

Jason seemed to need to consider that for a moment, but he did nod confirmation.

“Did you want to keep memory searching?”

“I… yes. I think so.”

“Okay.” Dick and Bruce let him ask the questions he had, both being careful of when it looked like he might be in too much pain.

“I should go,” Jason finally said again, looking at the time displayed on Dick’s microwave.

And here came the biggest complication with telling Bruce. Bruce’s eyes narrowed, “Back to the League?”

“They will notice if I am gone too long,” Jason confirmed.

Before Bruce could start up his protests about Jason going back, Dick pulled him aside. “Give us a moment, Jay?”

Jason frowned, obviously not thrilled about being left in the dark, but nodded.

“We can’t tell him not to go back,” Dick said quiet enough for only Bruce to hear.

“We can't let him go back to the League. If Talia found him then-“

“I know. But he doesn’t remember us. All he knows right now is that the League found and saved him.”

“To use him,” Bruce bit out.

“Which he’s figuring out. We can’t take his choices away from him. If he decides he wants to stay with us then that’s great, but it has to be his decision.”

“It is a risk to let him go.”

“But we risk losing him again if we don’t.” And that had Bruce pausing, because he knew Dick had a point.

“And if he decides he doesn’t want to come back?”

“You know what we do if that happens.” Bruce should know better than anyone else what it means when someone decides they would rather fight against them.

He had a pained look in his eyes, but he nodded.

Jason had gathered his sword and put it away when they turned back to him and he glanced between them wearily. “I can leave now?”

Dick looked to Bruce and Bruce nodded. “Even if I’m not present for any of your future visits, I would like to be informed.” He’d said it to Jason, but his eyes were in Dick.

Jason nodded and soon enough he was gone.

* * *

“Nightwing, is that him?” Tim asked, sounding a little excited when he noticed Jason tailing them, probably hanging back because he didn’t know Tim.

“It is.” Dick waved him over trying to signal that Tim was safe.

Jason approached them, looking between Dick and Tim as questioningly as someone in a nearly full face mask could.

“Jay, this is Robin, or well the current Robin. He was a big fan of yours before you, well…”

Tim held out his hand, but slowly lowered it when Jason just stared at it. “Batman was falling apart without you. So when Dick wouldn’t do it again, I kind of forced him to take me on as Robin,” Tim told Jason. “We’ve never actually met, but I really admired you as Robin. Even though I know you don’t remember that time right now.”

“I’m… starting to remember some of it,” Jason answered.

“That’s good,” Dick perked up, “How much do you remember?”

“I remembered meeting Batman, and you. And some fights.”

“And do you remember how starstruck you were when you met me?” Jason hadn’t really been. He’d sized Dick up and proclaimed he was definitely going to surpass him. If Dick remembered right Jason had also called him a loser somewhere in that meeting.

“I felt something, but I don’t think it was that,” Jason muttered, and Tim laughed even though Dick wasn’t sure if Jason was actually joking or really not quite up to understanding past emotions.

“Either way, it’s good progress.” Dick considered inviting Jason to help them finish up their patrol, but given how the last time Jason saw Dick in danger went, he figured it was probably not the best idea. He did also want to talk to Jason a bit. “Robin, you mind finishing up the rest of the patrol without us?”

Tim looked like he wanted to protest, clearly eager to talk to Jason more, but nodded reluctantly anyway.

“Where are we going?” Jason asked after Tim left.

“How does fast food sound to you?”

“Dangerous,” Jason answered, pointing between his mask and Dick’s Nightwing symbol.

“Without me in this suit and if you decide you’re okay without the mask then what your wearing isn’t that weird for Gotham.”

“You’re famous without Nightwing.”

“Some places don’t care, especially this late. But we could also just get some for take out and have it on a rooftop.” It wouldn’t be the first time he’d done that.

Jason hesitantly nodded his agreement to that option.

“Come on, let’s go to a place you used to love.”

Jason was willing to follow him about as far as a rooftop away, but let Dick go by himself to actually get the food after that.

Dick came back and plopped a bag on Jason’s lap. “So,” he started, sitting down next to him. “How have you been feeling?”

Jason took off his mask and peered into the bag of food curiously as he answered Dick. “Strange.”

“Strange good or strange bad?”

“...both,” Jason decided on, pulling out a fry and examining it.

“Then can you describe the strange to me?” Dick took a big bite out of his burger, feeling like he was trying to prove it wasn’t poisoned or something.

“I keep remembering things, and sometimes it feels like my memories. Sometimes it feels like I’m just watching something happen. You and Talia say different things, and sometimes when I think about that too much I feel like I can’t breathe and my chest hurts instead of my head,” he tapped the fingers of his free hand against his knee in an agitated rhythm. “But I keep wanting to know who Jason is, even though he doesn’t always feel like me.” It was definitely the most Jason had said to him in one go, and more open than he’d expected Jason to be.

Dick’s instinct was to just tell Jason that Talia was absolutely lying to him, but he didn’t have proof of that, and he had said that Ra’s didn’t exactly lie. That more or less extended to Talia too. That didn’t mean they weren’t twisting the truth to fit a narrative. “I don’t know what Talia’s been telling you to tell you that it’s not true and even then, I think the best I can do is to just keep offering you our side and telling you who you were to us. I can stop any story I’m telling you if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s up to you to decide who you want to believe.

“And well, I don’t know if you’ll ever feel like who you were before again, and I don’t know if it’s best for you to at all. A lot’s happened to you and no one would be able to stay the same person they were after going through what you have. You might never feel connected with the Jason in the memories you recover again and that’s okay. The important thing is that you  _ are _ Jason, and you decide who Jason is and who he was even if who he was doesn’t feel connected to who you are or who you become. And either way, we’ll still love and care about you no matter who you decide you want to be.” Which only made it harder if Jason decided he preferred to stay with the League, because while they would still love and care for him, they would still have a responsibility to stop him.

“Why? You knew that Jason.” He did finally eat the fry he’d been examining, seeming to decide Dick wasn’t poisoning him.

“We’re stubborn that way. You’re not going to able to get rid of us.”

Jason frowned and opened his mouth to answer, but went tense when a voice behind them spoke up.

“How sweet. But Nightwing, I believe you have something that no longer belongs to you,” Talia said.

Dick sprung up, escrima sticks at the ready, fries forgotten. “I don’t think that’s for you to decide.”

“Red Hood, on your feet,” Talia commanded and Jason was standing almost immediately, moving closer to her. “I don’t have to decide anything, Nightwing. He’s been in my care for years now.”  

“Years. You’ve been grooming him to use against us for years,” Dick practically growled.

Jason looked between Dick and Talia, and he tried to cover it up but Dick could see the confliction in his expression. He wasn’t the only one to notice though, because Talia cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at her.

“Oh Jason, this must have all been so confusing for you,” she said with saccharine sweetness. “All of these people from your past pretending to still care for you,” she continued, sounding almost pitying. “But they’ve all moved on, Jason. Replaced you. And have they even told you how you died?”

“...an explosion,” Jason tried to look to Dick again, but she held his face so he couldn’t.

“I see, these bats do love their half truths, don’t they? Did they mention the Joker at all?” She may have sounded pitying but her lip twitched when Jason’s hand immediately went up to his head.

“Stop,” Jason said quietly, closing his eyes against the pain

“Did they tell you about how the Joker beat you? About how you were almost dead before the explosion even happened?” She continued like she hadn’t heard Jason, who was starting to shake.

“He said stop!” Dick lunged at her before he really thought about it, only to find a gun pointed at his face.

“I don’t particularly want to kill Nightwing with Batman still standing, but I’m not afraid to create another Oracle,” she told him coldly.

And Dick, never really one to think of himself first, still ran towards her, if only to separate her from Jason. “Get away from him!”

Talia barely glanced at him, kicking out, her heel hitting him square in the ribs. “And they let him get away with it, Jason. The Joker is still walking free, you know that he is. So how much could they really care about you? But I found you, not Batman, and I’ve made you stronger so that no one can do that to you again. And so that you can get your revenge,” she smiled at him, even as she moved her hand to his arm to keep him from collapsing onto the ground.

“Stop it,” he said again, barely a whisper this time.

“I know it hurts, Jason, but they weren’t going to tell you. Because they wanted to keep you like a living picture from their past. I’m still the only one actually looking out for you,” she said, running the fingers of her free hand through Jason’s hair.

“No! That’s not true! The Joker’s locked up in the deepest cell in Arkham! Batman almost killed him for what he did to you! We didn’t know you came back, we would’ve been there if we did!” Dick on his feet again, charging at her again.

“Because Arkham has ever been a suitable holding place,” she rolled her eyes as she finally let Jason drop to his knees so she could grab Dick by his throat. “He’s in and out all the time. He’s hurt Batman’s other sidekick. Batman wouldn’t even kill one murderer for killing you. Didn’t even notice your grave had been dug up.”

“Stop! Both of you! I don’t- I don’t want to hear anymore,” Jason almost shouted, hands over his ears as his entire body shook.

“Then let’s go home, Jason,” She said, tossing Dick aside and walking back over to him.

Dick coughed as he hit the ground but still managed to croak out, “Remember what I said, Jay. We’ll always love you, no matter what Talia tells you. We-I will always love you.”

Jason didn’t answer, Dick wasn’t even sure that he could if he wanted to in the state he was in. Talia had to lift him up to haul him away since he seemed barely conscious.

Dick lifted himself to his knees and they were gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for implied/referenced past noncon

Just about the last thing Dick was expecting was to get a call from Bruce saying that Jason had shown up at the manor a few weeks later, with a baby, refusing to answer any questions until Dick got there. 

Needless to say, Dick got to a zeta tube as fast as humanly possible and sped his way to the manor. “I’m here, what’s happening?”

Jason was sitting on the couch, holding a crying baby, but stood up when he saw Dick. “Are you okay?” He asked, like he hadn’t been nearly unconscious with pain last time Dick saw him. 

Dick moved to sit beside him, eyeing both him and the baby. “I’m fine. Are you? You weren’t in the best of shape last time I saw you either. And-uh- where did this baby come from?”

“Talia,” Jason said, ignoring Dick’s first question and passing the baby off to Bruce, who seemed to take it mostly so Jason wouldn’t drop it. “This is yours now. Make it stop screaming.” 

“You stole Talia’s baby?” Sure Jason running away was one thing, but Jason running away with Al Ghul family sounded like inviting disaster.

Bruce had a disturbed look on his face, which was surprisingly open and easy to spot there, given that it was Bruce. “Talia and whose baby?”

“Yours. I said it’s yours now,” Jason reminded him. “It’s name is Damian.” Bruce’s eyes widened which was so uncharacteristically not good.

“Yours as in…. Bruce, tell me you didn’t.”

“I didn’t. Not with the right state of mind at the very least.” And that just made it so much worse.

“Bruce, I’m sorry. I-”

“I do not want to talk about it,” Bruce bit out.

“You will keep it, yes?” Jason asked, looking between them. 

“Of course,” they both answered. Bruce really didn’t look like he knew how to hold Damian though.

“Maybe we should call Al for this too.”

Bruce numbly nodded and carefully went to find Alfred, holding the baby as securely as he could without causing it discomfort.

“You never told me if you were alright.”

“Undetermined.”

“Are you going to stay here with us?” It was hard for Dick to not hope that he would if he went as far as to bring Damian with him.

“You don’t even stay here,” Jason pointed out. 

“Would you want me to? Or would you want to stay with me in Bludhaven? If you’re deciding you don’t want to go back to the League, I mean.” Dick was willing to make these sacrifices for Jason. If he ended up staying in the manor, he’d just have to travel back and forth every night. If Jason turned out to still be working for the league and his apartment got invaded then he could move.

Jason shook his head. “You all are too much to be around at all times,” he said, tapping his head to indicate the head pains he got. 

Dick nodded, trying his best not to let his disappointment show. “Then what are you going to do?”

“If Talia doesn’t kill me for stealing Damian? Find a place to stay and try to figure that out.” 

“I could give you a place. There’s safe houses all over Gotham and Bludhaven. You can have one.”

“Don’t you need those?” 

“We have plenty.”

Jason didn’t look totally certain, but nodded in agreement anyway. 

“You can have your pick of whether you want to stay in Gotham or Bludhaven. You really don’t have to worry about us sacrificing too much. Giving you a place is the least we could do and there’s no such thing as too much for you.” 

Jason tilted his head, seeming to consider it. “Bludhaven,” he decided. 

And Dick couldn’t deny that it made him happy that Jason preferred to stay closer to him. “Okay. You should expect me to visit pretty often.” That wasn’t to say he wouldn’t have visited a lot even if Jason decided to stay in Gotham.

“It seemed like something you would do even if I found my own place.”

“Definitely,” Dick grinned.

“Can we go now? I’ve spent enough time with Damian crying.” 

Dick let out a small huff of laughter. “Did you only come here to drop off Damian?”

“And find you. Batman knows how to contact you. I couldn’t wait around Bludhaven for Nightwing with a screaming child.” 

Dick felt his smile pull wider. “Yeah, we can go. The safehouse I took you to before okay?”

Jason nodded agreement. “Do we have to tell Batman we’re leaving?”

“I’ll just tell him real fast.” Dick gave Jason’s knee a pat and sprung up to find Bruce and Alfred.

The two of them looked like they were discussing the best way to take care of Damian and what they’d need to get to do so. He offered them a brief explanation of what Jason had decided and gave them a good luck and a goodbye.

They had to take the long way to Bludhaven and drive there. Jason’s death had taken his name out of the zeta tube system. Dick would have to hack into it again to re-enter him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jason finally asked, and it was easy enough to guess what he meant after Talia had tried to use him not mentioning the Joker against him last time they’d seen each other. 

“I was going to eventually. I had a feeling it was going to be painful for you so I was waiting for the right time, or well, when I was sure it would hurt less. I guess there wasn’t really a chance of that, was there?”

“I don’t know,” Jason admitted. “I would have rather heard it from you.” 

“I would’ve preferred being the one to tell you. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you the whole story when you asked.” Dick always hated seeing something in hindsight.

“We wouldn’t have gotten through the whole story,” Jason allowed. “But I might not have left if Talia hadn’t been able to tell me like that.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t want to think she was manipulating me. I am- I was a weapon for the Al Ghul's, but I thought by my own choice and my own skill. Not because Talia wanted to use my connection to Batman against him. But she hurt me intentionally to use me. And she tried to use Robin against me, but she said it differently than he did. And then I overheard about Damian.” 

Dick brushed a lock of hair out of Jason’s face as they reached a stop light, giving him a sympathetic look. “I hate that she was using you but I’m glad you were saved, even if it was by her.”

“Not safe yet. She might still kill me for taking Damian.”

“You know what I mean.” Dick didn’t think he would ever be able to forgive himself for not noticing Jason’s grave had been disturbed.

“She can’t kill Batman though. That’s what she needed me and Damian for. So Damian should be fine at Batman’s house.” 

But of course that safety didn’t extend to Jason. “You sure you don’t want to stay with me?”

“Yes. I need to be able to take breaks from the memories being around you bring up.” 

“If you’re sure,” Dick really didn’t like the prospect of Jason being in danger without him knowing though. “We should get you a phone. There’s a distress button built into the safehouse but a phone would also be handy.”

“Phones are traceable,” Jason said simply. 

“A temporary one.”

“The amount of time doesn’t change its tracabiity.”

“It’s nice to see that with or without memories, you’re still just as stubborn as ever.” Dick could hear the fond tone in his voice though.

“I am familiar with tracking methods after training with the League.” 

“Fine, I guess we can just stick with the regular visits. I want you to feel like that place is yours though so if I’m overstaying my visit or you don’t feel like me being there on any particular day, you should tell me and I’ll leave you alone.”

Jason blinked at him in surprise, but nodded, and soon enough they were pulling up to the safe house. 

“Okay, let's get you settled and then we’re going to the mall because you can’t live in only that,” Dick pointed at Jason’s league uniform.

Jason looked down at his clothes, fiddling a bit with the end of his shirt to straighten it out. “I didn’t have time to get anything else.”

“Which is why we’re going shopping. You get to buy whatever you want.” Dick was a little curious if, with his memories and past reservations gone, Jason would be a little more willing to express what he wanted when it came to people getting him stuff.

“I also do not have money,” Jason pointed out. 

“And even if you did, I can’t imagine I’d be letting you do that much of the paying.”

Jason frowned at him, but looked down at his clothes again, clearly weighing the pros and cons of just keeping on what he had for the foreseeable future. 

“I’m gonna say it doesn’t matter how much you don’t like getting gifts, you need clothes. I’ll even lend you some so you’re not going to the mall in that.”

Jason reluctantly nodded agreement, seeming to decide that he really couldn’t just live with one outfit, and let Dick lead him into the safe house and show him around, changing into one of Dick’s spare t shirts and sweatpants that he kept in the apartment. He’d have to remember to take his stuff out so that Jason could actually feel like the place was his and not Dick’s that he was borrowing. 

Dick’s clothes didn’t quite fit Jason, who had grown up a lot since Dick had last seen him, but they fit well enough that Dick didn’t think he’d really stand out at the mall for his outfit anymore. Jason glanced at himself in the mirror and then looked to Dick for approval, apparently not used to civilian clothes. 

“You look great, Jay, and you’ll look even greater when we get them in the right size.”

Jason did not seem to like the mall. Dick could guess that all the people were what was making him so fidgety, and he actually had to hold Jason back when an over zealous kiosk worker touched his arm to get Jason’s attention. 

He also wasn’t particularly helpful with picking out clothing, and Dick was sort of relying on guesswork based on things Jason glanced at and what Jason used to like to wear. 

“You know you can tell me if you like or want something. I do want to get these things for you,” Dick said as he pulled the fifth thing he thought Jason was eying with at least a vague amount of interest from the wall.

Jason stared at him for a moment before reluctantly taking the shirt Dick had picked up, putting it back and grabbing the one next to it. 

“That’s the spirit! You just have to relax a bit and let me spoil you.” Dick beamed at him with a wide grin and pulled him further into the store. 

He only got Jason to do that a few more times, but he figured that the stuff Jason was willing to pick out was the stuff he really liked and if Dick just picked clothes in the same sort of style he’d manage to put together a wardrobe Jason wouldn’t hate wearing at the very least and might actually like. 

And then Jason managed to surprise him by making a sound that almost sounded like a cut off laugh and covering his mouth to hide a tiny smile, and Dick looked around, as soon as he was able to tear his eyes away from Jason, to find what it was that had apparently broken through enough to amuse Jason, and found a store that seemed to mostly house superhero merch and had Team Batman and Team Nightwing shirts pitted against each other in the store window, and the little cartoon Nightwing on the shirt was wearing one of Dick’s old suits that Steph liked to call his ‘Discowing’ suit. 

“We should get you one,” Dick decided, “Now I may be biased, but I definitely think being a Nightwing fan is better.”

“I won’t wear that,” Jason told him, lowering his hand, seeming to have gained control of his facial features again. 

“Why not? Team Nightwing’s a lot more fun than team Batman. He has the better suit too, look at those fringes.”

“I won’t wear the Team Batman one either.” 

“And you shouldn’t. Team Batman is grouchy and boring. It doesn’t hurt to take a look around the store though.” Dick was already pulling him in by the hand. Maybe if he was lucky Jason would laugh again at something in the store. 

Jason looked around at all of the merch for the different superheroes in the store, wincing slightly but mostly looking okay. “There are too many superheroes,” he decided. 

“No such thing as too many people lending a helping hand. It’s a big world,” Dick picked up a small Nightwing plushie they passed by and pushed it’s little arm to poke Jason’s cheek, “And we’re so small.”

Jason leaned away from him, lips tugging downward. “Half of these toys are Gotham affiliated superheroes. There are too many superheroes.” 

“I guess there is a pretty big amount just in Gotham, but it works, besides, we’re all so cute.” Dick waved the little plushie at him again. “I think I’m going to get you this.”

“Why?” Jason’s brows scrunched up as he looked at the plushie, this one dressed in Dick’s current Nightwing suit. 

“Because it’s cute,” Dick said simply before holding it up to his face, “And it’ll remind you that I’m always going to be there for you.”

Jason apparently wasn’t willing to deal with that level of emotion because he turned back to the plushies. “Can you even tell which of these Robin toys is which? They all look the same.” 

Dick hid the fond smile behind the plush despite Jason not even looking at him. “Sure. This one’s me, it’s wearing my version of the suit,” Dick pointed at the ones lined on the first shelf. “This one’s the current one, you can tell with the little hood.” He pointed at the one on the lowermost shelf. “And this one’s you. He has your cocky smile that you used to flash at cameras,” He pointed at the one on the shelf between the two others. 

Jason picked up his Robin’s plushie and stared at it for a long enough time that Dick started to worry, before he finally set it back down where it had been and moved away from the toys all together to go observe some of the other shirts on display. 

Dick didn’t question on it, letting him decide whether or not he wanted to tell Dick about it, which Dick was pretty sure he didn’t. “I should get new Superman socks, Bruce hates them,” Dick started up casually again.

Jason glanced at him then looked around and then walked a bit further into the store, coming back over to Dick before he could follow and holding up a pair of socks that had the Superman logo near the top, along with a small cape hanging off the back of them. “These are terrible,” he said as he shoved them into Dick’s hands. 

“They’re perfect.” Dick eyed them with glee. Bruce was going to hate them.

“I liked her,” Jason decided, pointing at a Wonder Woman shirt, ignoring Dick and his socks. 

“And she liked you. Wanna get the shirt?”

Jason tilted his head, seeming to consider it before nodding. 

“When she’s back from her off world mission, and you’re up for it, maybe we can go see her.” Dick had always been sure that out of all the Robins, Jason was Diana’s favorite.

Jason looked a little unsure about that, but didn’t say no. He simply led Dick over to the cash register, seeming to decide they were done with the store. 

By the end of their shopping trip, Dick had managed to put together a decently sized wardrobe for Jason which mostly consisted of t-shirts, jeans, a few light jackets, and a brown leather jacket that Jason had picked out.

Jason absolutely refused to eat in the food court though, which had been crowded with people and Jason had looked like his nerves were fried enough from the crowds that Dick didn’t want to push it and risk him stabbing someone. So he got drive through food on the way back to Jason’s new apartment, and Jason inspected it just as thoroughly as he had the fries Dick had gotten him before Talia had shown up their last meeting. 

Dick nabbed a piece of Jason’s food if only to stop him from scrutinizing it and get him to just eat it. “I promise it’s safe.”

Jason narrowed his eyes at him, like he was actually waiting to see if Dick was going to kneel over after eating the food before deciding to start eating as well. “Poison is an easy way to kill someone.” He sounded a little defensive. 

“Yes, but not everyone is trying to kill us. It’s good to be cautious, but it’s okay to just let loose every once in a while.”

“Part of training is being able to identify poison attempts, or make an antidote if you don’t.” He said it quite casually like that wasn’t one of the more horrible things that Dick had heard in his life, especially since there didn’t seem to be a follow up about an antidote being administered if you couldn’t make one.  

“Well no one’s going to try and poison you anymore, not while you’re here.”

“Except maybe Talia.” 

“I don’t really see someone with Talia’s pride resorting to poison. I think she’d go a more direct route.”

“And that assumption would make it quite easy to poison you,” he said, even as he took another bite of his food. 

“Are you being cheeky with me?”

Jason didn’t answer him, simply continuing to eat, but really that seemed like answer enough. 

“I can’t believe you’re being cheeky with me!” Dick pulled Jason down to roughly ruffle his hair, something that was a bit harder to do compared to before Jason had his growth spurt.

It also didn’t go over very well with Jason, who within less than a second of Dick grabbing him had Dick pinned under him, a hand in Dick’s hair yanking his head back roughly so a knife could be pressed to his throat, and Dick honestly wasn’t sure where Jason had been keeping that. 

Jason’s eyes went wide as he seemed to realize what he’d just done, and he quickly backed off, scrambling off the couch and away from Dick, looking horrified as he dropped his knife and backed further away. 

Dick only gave himself a second to feel shocked before he was quickly recovering and jumping up to make sure Jason didn’t scare away. “Jay, it’s okay. I’m okay, and you’re okay.”

Jason shook his head. “I almost hurt you.” 

“But you didn’t. And I was the one that grabbed you, you were just going off instinct.”

“You should go. I don’t- I don’t want to hurt you.” 

And Dick was caught between a rock and a hard place. Because he didn’t want to leave. If he did, Jason would let himself believe that he was a danger to Dick. But he had also told him that he wanted to respect Jason’s wishes and space and would leave if he asked him to. “Do you want me to leave? Or do you think it’s dangerous for me to stay? Because I don’t think that, and I know you’re not a danger to me.”

“I am. I just almost hurt you,” he insisted. 

“It was instinct. A habit from being trained to always be wary. You stopped and that’s what matters. You didn’t hurt me.”

Jason didn’t look convinced, but slowly let himself move to pick up the knife and set it aside on the table where no one was likely to step on it and then move back to the couch, sitting tensely on the end but at least he wasn’t trying to leave. 

Dick slowly inched over, making sure Jason was aware of the movement. “I don’t expect you to just forget years of ingrained habits and training, especially not in just one day, and I don’t blame you for how you reacted. It’ll take time to break those habits, and that’s okay. You shouldn’t blame yourself for any of that either.”

Jason didn’t answer him for a few minutes, and while it wasn’t exactly comfortable Dick let them sit in silence while Jason seemed to think about what he was saying. “What if I do hurt you?” 

“You won’t,” Dick said confidently.

“You don’t know that.” 

“I do. You stopped the instant you realized it was me.”

“I realized fast enough this time.” 

“You won’t hurt me,” Dick repeated.

Jason frowned at him, pulling his food back over to him, clearly trying to move on from this. 

Dick sighed and scooted himself over the remaining space between them, this time making sure Jason could see every action as he reached out to touch him, laying his hand on his knee. “I trust you, Jay.”

“That is a misguided decision.” 

“I don’t see how it could be.”

“It is based upon Jason Todd before he died. I… don’t know how to be that. And I have only been away from the League of Shadows for a day.”

“No,” Dick gave Jason’s knee a small squeeze, “It’s based on you right now, who went against all his known teachings and trainings just so he couldn’t be used against me and Batman and who ran his sword through a man to protect me. I trust you.”

“You were angry at me for the man.” Jason frowned like he still didn’t quite understand that. 

“I didn’t like that he died,” Dick confirmed, “But I know you were just making sure I wasn’t hurt.”

Jason still didn’t look convinced, but he also didn’t look ready to bolt out of the apartment, so it was progress. 

Dick didn’t enjoy it but he settled to let them eat in silence. “Did you want me to leave?” Dick asked as they both finished.

Jason considered it for a few seconds and nodded. “Today was a lot.”

“Okay.” Dick got up and pushed some of Jason’s hair out of his face, giving him a small smile. “I’ll be back in a few days, okay?”

“Okay,” Jason agreed.

* * *

He really meant to wait a few days to let Jason adjust and explore at his own pace, but he ended up showing up with pizza the next day because the look on Jason’s face when he realized he’d almost hurt Dick kind of haunted him, and he needed to make sure Jason was okay and still actually at the safe house. 

Jason looked a little surprised to see him when he opened the door, tilting his head slightly. “Did something happen?” 

“I missed you,” was what Dick settled on.

Jason didn’t respond to that, but he didn’t tell Dick to leave either, stepping aside and letting Dick in. 

“How are you settling in?”

Jason took the pizza boxes from him, leading him to the living room to set them down. “Your city is very violent.”

“It is, did you go out last night?” It wasn’t that Dick expected him to be confined to the safehouse, but he did have a small instant of panic at Jason being out possibly getting attacked and Dick not knowing about it.

Jason shook his head. “I ran this morning.” It reminded him he probably needed to get Jason some gym equipment and maybe other things to entertain himself with. He hadn’t seemed all that interested in the TV yesterday, which made sense, because Dick really couldn’t see the League letting him watch more than the news. “Two different people tried to rob me. And one almost hit me and a women in the crosswalk with a car. In daylight.” 

“Well, a city is only as good as it’s people and most people here are violent and angry.” Dick sat himself down next to Jason on the couch, flipping open the first pizza box. He noticed the small little changes since he’d left yesterday. Jason apparently didn’t like having things just lying around and had cleaned up just a bit as well as found a place for all the clothes Dick had gotten him. Dick’s chest swelled a little when he noticed that he’d kept the little Nightwing doll, putting it on top of the TV.

Jason caught him looking at it and glanced away quickly like he was embarrassed about it, reaching for a slice of pizza to inspect. 

“We should get you something to do for when you get bored.” Dick decided not to push on his embarrassment, even if it was admittedly cute.

“Like what?” Jason asked. 

“I don’t know, but some type of hobby. Probably some gym equipment at the very least.”

“What did I do before?” 

“You liked to read.” Dick was sure Alfred still had all of Jason’s old books in his room at the manor. “You were also really interested in motorcycles.”

“I…” he put a hand to his head, but kept going, “I think I hotwired one of Batman’s once. He was not happy.” And Dick hadn’t heard that one before, but he could imagine Bruce wouldn’t be. 

“I can’t imagine he would’ve been,” he voiced, “I think we’ve all at least thought about taking one of Batman’s cars and bikes out for a joyride.” Dick didn’t really think he could or really should find Jason a bike any time soon but he could get him his old books. “How about I stop by the manor some time soon to grab you some of your books?”

Jason nodded his agreement, finally starting to actually eat his pizza. 

“For now though,” Dick reached over Jason for the remote, “TV is always a good pastime.”

He honestly didn’t know what shows Jason had liked as a kid. From what he could tell Jason hadn’t been all that interested in television before his death either. Probably because he hadn’t had one until he moved in with Bruce. 

So Dick just had to pick something he thought Jason might like that wasn’t likely to trigger him. 

He settled on Star Trek, which Jason seemed mildly fascinated by if the way he barely tore his eyes away from the screen was anything to go by. 

It was a lazy day for them. An hour or so into the show, Dick was sprawled across the couch, his toes just barely touching Jason’s thigh. He would’ve stretched out and draped his feet over his lap but he wasn’t sure that was something Jason would be comfortable with and he didn’t want to push after yesterday.

Eventually Jason had enough of him though, so he did reluctantly leave. 

The next time he tried to come over Jason had looked agitated and closed the door on him. 

He later found out that Bruce had come to visit him with Damian, and Tim, Steph, and Cass had later come over because they were curious so he was probably a little overwhelmed. 

It was a week later before Jason did let him in with his old books. Well, some of them. It turned out Jason had owned a lot and Bruce had kept all of them. 

“So I brought all the ones Bruce and Alfred said were your favourites,” Dick lowered the bags onto the floor, “And I made a stop at IKEA and got you a bookshelf to put them in.”

Jason took the books from him, looking through them curiously. “We have to build the shelf,” he observed after he’d looked at each of the books. 

“Yeah, but it’s just a bookshelf, it can’t be that hard.”

An hour later found that it was that hard, but between the two of them, mostly Jason who was actually trying to go off the directions, it was finished and had Jason’s books placed on it. 

Jason eyed it for a moment before walking over to the TV and picking the Nightwing toy off of it, and placing it on top of the shelf. 

Dick felt his chest do a little flip. He was glad Jason liked the plushie. “It looks great.”

Jason nodded in agreement, and his lips quirked up just slightly. 

“I’ll let you get reacquainted with them, have fun.” Dick gave Jason’s hair a little ruffle before making his way to the door.

“You can stay,” Jason said, reaching out and catching Dick’s wrist. He looked a little guilty, most likely for last time Dick had come over. 

Dick gave him a small smile, stepping back away from the door. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. I told you, you’re allowed to kick me out or tell me to leave whenever you don’t want me here. You don’t have anything to feel bad about.”

“There were too many people that day,” Jason told him quietly. 

“Yeah, they all told me they visited that day. It makes sense that you didn’t feel like seeing anyone else.”

Jason nodded. “I want to see what happens next on Star Trek,” he said to change the topic. 

“Okay,” Dick smiled, and pulled him over to the couch.


	3. Chapter 3

Dick had expected Talia to go to Bruce or Jason, not be seated in his apartment when he got home, languidly flipping through one of his old photo albums that he’d dug out because it contained a few of the very small number of pictures of Jason from before he died. He hadn’t brought it for this visit because he wasn’t sure if Jason would let him in, but now Talia was glancing up from it to look at Dick. “Ah, I was starting to think you’d be out all night.” 

“I’m definitely starting to think I should’ve been.” Dick lowered himself into a more ready stance for whatever Talia would throw at him.

“Settle down, Grayson. I’m just here for a chat.” She set down the photo album, sitting up a bit straighter. “You weren’t the one I expected to break two of my weapons. I was prepared for Jason to fail to kill Batman, that’s what Damian was for. I even thought he might seek you out when he first said your name. But from what I understood you two weren’t all that close as children, so how is it that you managed to nearly single handedly ruin my work?” 

“I call it the hidden art of showing him I actually care about him, something you clearly couldn’t do.”

“Oh, I  _ cared for  _ him quite a few times,” she said with a smirk. 

Dick didn’t want to believe what that implied, but Talia was a manipulative person, and if what Bruce said about how Damian was… conceived was true then Dick couldn’t imagine Talia wouldn’t take advantage of a confused and vulnerable Jason. “You’re disgusting. Jason never would have stayed with you.”

“But he did. Right up until you came along.” She tapped her sharp nails on her knee. “I’m just wondering what you’re planning to do about him killing people though. After all, I hear that’s a big no no with you lot. I don’t even think I could give you a number for the body count he’s already wracked up. And he was already such a violent little bird before the Joker found him.” 

Dick narrowed his eyes at her because he knew what she was doing. “You’re not going to be able to convince me to stop helping him.”

“Speaking of the Joker, I haven’t heard anything from him since he disappeared from Gotham Asylum right before Jason left,” she said like Dick hadn’t spoken. “I wonder if maybe Jason remembering his death has anything to do with that.” 

“I told you it’s not going to work. You’re just wasting both of our time.”

“Do you really think he’ll stop with just the Joker though? He always had such a cute attitude about taking it too far with criminals as Robin. As long as they deserve it, why does it matter? He was really always headed down this path. What’s your plan when you’re confronted with the fact that you’re playing house with your pet assassin?” 

Dick hated that he couldn’t say she was lying. He knew she was just trying to manipulate him, but everything she said held some truth. “He’s not a pet, but you are bother. Get out of my home.”

“And who do you think he’ll come running back to when you inevitably can’t handle what he’ll do to people?” She gave him a saccharine sweet smile as she got to her feet, caressing his cheek as she passed him. “Maybe I’ll have him kill you instead of Batman when that happens.” 

“You’re crazy if you think I’m going to lose him again.”

“I don’t think you’ll do it intentionally. But I do think it will happen. Enjoy him in the meantime though,” she winked at him and walked out the door, “who knows how long you have.” And then the door was closed behind her. 

Dick resisted the urge to punch a wall. She’d hear it and think she’d won and he could do without another dent in his walls. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself and called the secure line connected to the safe house Jason was staying in. He wanted nothing more than to run back there to see him but he wouldn’t risk leading Talia there.

Jason sounded half awake when he answered, and Dick remembered how tired he’d looked towards the end of their marathon being why he’d left. “What happened?” 

“Talia was at my apartment.” Hearing himself speak, Dick could tell he wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding his anger.

“I’ll be right there,” Jason said, suddenly sounding much more awake, and hanging up before Dick could answer. 

Dick, with his nervous energy, ended pacing and waiting for Jason on the roof of his apartment building, just in case Talia decided she hadn’t wanted to leave the general vicinity.

Jason found him quick enough, and immediately started looking him over for injuries. 

Dick decided to just forget all his reservations and pulled Jason into a hug, burying his face in his neck. “I’m fine. She didn’t hurt me, just tried to mess with my head.”

Jason went tense in his arms, but didn’t try to attack him or push him away, so he assumed it was okay. 

“Jay,” Dick sighed, pulling back to look him in the eyes, “Did you kill the Joker?” He hated that he had to ask, hated that Talia had managed to plague his mind.

Jason’s eyes went wide at the question, and for a second Dick was able to hope it was surprise that the Joker was dead and that Jason had nothing to do with the disappearance, but then Jason stepped back and refused to look at Dick as he nodded, hands fidgeting at his sides. 

Dick couldn’t help the disappointment that welled up in his stomach. He really wanted Talia to have been lying. “I’m not mad. I wish you hadn’t, but I’m not mad and I can understand why.”

Jason glanced up at him, and Dick had thought he’d been hiding his disappointment well but maybe not because Jason still flinched a bit and looked back to the ground, biting at his lower lip. 

“Jason,” Dick reached out to take his hand, hoping he wouldn’t flinch away and was relieved when Jason let him, “I’m not okay with killing and I never will be. But you’ve been trained as an assassin for years, killing is what you know how to do and I’m not going to fault you for that. It’ll take some time for us to work through things, but don’t think for a second I won’t want you around because of this.”

“...he’s in Gotham Bay,” Jason finally said quietly. 

Dick would have to tell Bruce, preferably in a way that didn’t reveal that Jason was the one who put him there. “Thank you for telling me.”

“She told you first.”

“She did it hoping it would drive me away from you, but she should know that it’ll never work.”

Jason didn’t look quite as certain as Dick was, and it occurred to him that Talia had had far more time to try and convince Jason that Dick wouldn’t want him because of what he’d done than the few minutes she spent with Dick himself. 

“Jay, do you remember what I told you when we went to the mall together?”

“You said a lot.” 

“I told you that I’m always going to be here for you. That’s not going to change.”

Jason stayed in his apartment that night to make sure Talia didn’t come back, but by morning he’d left. Dick still figured he must have broken through though for Jason to have stayed at all. 

* * *

The next time he showed up at Jason’s safe house he was greeted by a small black cat hissing at him, although it was tiny enough it barely made a sound, and Jason quickly scooped it up before it could attack Dick’s foot. 

“You got a cat.”

“Someone left it in a box. It was raining.” The cat seemed to settle in Jason’s arms, purring and rubbing its face against his chest. 

God that was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen. “It likes you.”

Jason shrugged. “I took it out of the wet box.” 

“It’s cute, just like it’s new owner.”

Jason looked startled for a second before his cheeks turned pink and he looked away. 

Dick decided he wouldn’t tease Jason even if he was being really cute. He did step closer to try and pet the cat only for it to swipe at him. “The cat really does remind me of you.”

“The color?” Jason asked, pointing at his own black hair. 

“Well yeah, but it also reminds me a bit of how we met. I know I joked about it but you actually didn’t seem to like me all that much when we first met.”

Jason just frowned a bit at that, and Dick recalled Jason saying that he had remembered meeting Dick. 

“I don’t know what I did, but it actually took you months to warm up to me.”

“You didn’t do anything.” Jason set the cat down and it went to hide under the couch. 

Dick arched a brow at him. “You sound like this is a little detail you remember. Care to share?”

Jason glanced over at him. “No really. You didn’t do anything.”

“Then do you remember why you liked to avoid me during those first few months?”

“I had,” Jason trailed off as he searched for the right word, “feelings,” he decided on. 

And that had Dick smiling way too wide. “Feelings?”

“Several,” Jason agreed.

“What kind of feelings?”

“Admiration. Jealousy. Attraction. Determination. Resentment. Too much, so I just tried to hate you instead.” 

“That is a lot of feelings.” It kind of sounded like Jason had a bit of a crush on Dick back in the day. Which Dick never would have guessed. “But you eventually managed to work through those feelings, right?”

Jason gave him a flat unimpressed look. “I don’t know.” 

“Okay, fair enough.” Dick decided he could let the topic drop for the time being. “How have you been?” The last time he’d seen Jason had been when Dick had been confronted by Talia, and while he should probably be more concerned about himself, he still worried far more about how Jason could’ve even been indirectly affected.

“I have been reading my books.”

“And how have you been feeling?”

Jason just shrugged, apparently not as keen on sharing current feelings. Which was very Jason of him. He could deliver the ones he sort of remembered but was ultimately disconnected from without his other memories in a calm tone, but sharing current feelings had never been one of Jason’s strong suits. Which is probably why Dick hadn’t picked up on the fact that Jason apparently had a crush on him as a kid. 

“Alright, how about you tell me about the books you’ve been reading instead.” 

Jason still wasn’t all that verbal, so Dick had to do a lot of prompting to hear about the stories, but Jason’s eyes did light up a little when he talked about his favorite parts. 

Eventually the cat came back out from under the couch, and Jason gave Dick some food from the kitchen to give it. It definitely got the cat to warm up to him faster. It actually let Dick pet it while it ate the food. 

“Have you given it a name?”

Jason shook his head. 

“Are you going to give it a name?”

“I wouldn’t know what to call it,” Jason admitted. 

“Most pet names are based off of what the owner think matches their personality or what they look like. I guess you don’t really have to give it a name, but I think everyone likes having one.”

“You name it,” Jason suggested as the cat rubbed itself against Dick’s legs, probably hoping to get more food from him. 

“But he’s your cat, it feels kind of wrong if I named him.”

“Her,” Jason corrected. 

“Her,” Dick said a little apologetically, “Still I think it’s best you decide her name, I’m not saying right now, just whenever you manage to think of one.”

“All I did was take it out of a box. I don’t need to name it.” 

“Well, still think about it. Maybe you’ll come up with something you like.”

* * *

Stephanie was over the next time Dick visited and seemed to be trying to teach Jason how to play some board games while shooing away the cat when it tried to walk on the board. “Dick, we’re about to start Candy Land, come play,” she said brightly. 

“Sure. You didn’t drag the others with you today?” They’d probably learned from the first time they were over that that many people overwhelmed Jason.

“Tim’s gonna come over later with food and cat supplies. And also a credit card so Jason can actually buy things,” she told him. 

Dick had been planning to take Jason to get pet supplies but he supposed it worked out if Tim was bringing some. “I probably should’ve thought of that way earlier than this.”

“Well we’ve all just been bringing him everything he needs,” Steph shrugged and handed Dick a player piece. “Cass, Babs, and I have a bet going on how long it’ll be before he actually uses the credit card.” 

Jason glanced over at her curiously and she shook her head. “I’m not telling you, that would influence the bet.” 

“He’d let Cass win.”

“What?!” She looked between them. “No way, I’m clearly his favorite, right Jason?” 

Jason’s lips twitched slightly, but otherwise he remained impassive as he shrugged his shoulders. 

“I think we all know his favorite is this little troublemaker right here,” Dick pushed the cat’s paws away from the stack of cards and got a nip on his thumb for it. Jason covered his mouth, but Dick could see his shoulders shaking, he was definitely silently laughing at him. 

“And here I thought we were getting along,” Dick said to the cat but was poking Jason’s cheek.

“What are you going to name her?” Stephanie asked picking up the cat and setting it in her lap so it couldn’t reach the board. 

“Dick won’t name it,” Jason told her, shooting Dick an accusing look. 

“She’s yours, you should be the one to name her.”

Jason didn’t respond to that and eventually, after Steph had won most of the games, Tim showed up with Chinese food and cat stuff, and Steph tried and failed to harass the cat into wearing a collar. 

Dick laughed as Steph roped Tim into helping her and scooted himself closer to Jason. “You okay?”

Jason nodded. “The cat was a good idea. They follow it around instead of me,” he told Dick. 

“I think they’ll lose their fingers before they get that collar on. You’ll tell us if you’re overwhelmed, right?”

Jason nodded as Tim seemed to give up on the cat and came over to start passing out food. “Oh, I brought the Star Wars movies, since you said he liked Star Trek,” he told Dick. “I also brought Disney if we wanted to try and shake things up.” 

“Let’s see how he likes the Star Wars first.”

“Star Wars is boring, we should totally watch Disney,” Steph protested. “You guys need to show him more than just Sci-fi. My vote is Alice in Wonderland.” 

“Careful with your words there, Timmy might just turn on you.”

“It’s okay. I know she has terrible taste.” 

“I dated you,” she pointed out smugly. 

“Did I stutter?”

“Okay, settle down now kids. Maybe Jay has an opinion?”

“I don’t know any of these movies.” 

“No, but do you feel like watching more space adventures or the magic of childhood?” Dick did a small flutter with his fingers.

“We can watch what Steph wanted,” he said and Steph fist pumped. 

They managed to get through about two and a half disney movies before Dick felt himself start to doze slightly.

The next thing he knew he was waking up on Jason’s couch, the lights were out and the others were gone. Someone had draped a blanket over him and the kitten was sleeping on his chest.

Dick let out a small groan which was apparently enough to wake the cat and have her jump off him to find a better sleeping spot. That at the very least freed him to get up. He apparently had been sleeping for at least a few hours which wasn’t really how he wanted a visit with Jason to go, but it was bound to happen with how much work he kept taking on with the new team, Gotham, and Jason.

He didn’t really expect Jason to be awake when he wandered towards the bedroom, it just felt right to check on him before Dick left.

Jason was asleep, but it didn’t look peaceful. He was tossing and turning, his face scrunched up like he was in pain, and hair plastered to his forehead with sweat. 

Dick’s first instinct was to wake him, but with how he was thrashing, he was likely going to end up hitting Dick. And while Dick didn’t mind all that much, he knew Jason would once he woke up. Being as gentle as he could, he managed to catch both of Jason’s hands and gave them a squeeze. “Jason, wake up. It’s not real.”

Although maybe restraining him wasn’t the best approach either, because Jason’s legs wrapped around him and he took him down to the ground, but blinked as he seemed to come awake and see Dick under him. “What… what’s going on?” 

“You were having a nightmare. You okay?” Dick asked as though he wasn’t pinned underneath Jason. He did manage to keep hold of Jason’s hands despite the fall and gave them a light squeeze.

Jason shook his head a little and got up off of Dick. “Are you hurt?” 

“No, I’m fine.” Dick followed after him and sat next to him on the bed. “Do you get them a lot?”

Jason shrugged. “It’s mostly just memories.” 

“From the Joker? Or...?”

“Sometimes,” he said shrugging again. 

Dick sighed and scooted over to wrap an arm around Jason. “I know you don’t like talking about things, but it might help if you let it all out. Any one of us are willing to listen, not just me.”

“I’m starting to wonder if remembering things is actually better,” Jason said quietly, looking surprisingly vulnerable in the dark of his room. 

Dick couldn’t really tell him whether or not it was better. “You’ve had a difficult life, we wouldn’t blame you, but you’ve had some happy moments too.”

“I don’t remember as many of those.” 

“Then we can make new memories. We don’t need you to remember everything from before, we just want what’s best for you.”

“That doesn’t stop the ones I’m getting.” 

“I can talk to Bruce about getting you some sleeping pills. It might lessen the dreams.”

Jason shook his head. “Medicated sleep is dangerous.” 

“So is restless sleep, but well I guess we can figure something else out.” Dick started to rub small circles into Jason’s back, hoping it would do something to calm him a bit. “Did you want me to stay the night?”

“It’s,” Jason glanced at the clock, “almost four in the morning. You’ve already stayed the night.” 

“I guess you’re right. Are you okay with me staying with you longer?”

“If you don’t want to go home,” Jason nodded. 

“Well I’m not exactly comfortable leaving you after seeing that.”

“It happens,” Jason said with an air of nonchalance, like his hair wasn’t still sticking to his forehead and his hands weren’t trembling slightly. 

“I figured, which is why it kind of upsets me that it took until now for me to notice.”

Jason’s brows shot up. “You’ve never seen me sleep. Why would you notice?” 

“I’m a detective and I worry about you enough that I should’ve noticed. There are always signs when someone hasn’t been sleeping well.”

“And I am a trained assassin. I also know those signs,” he said simply. 

Dick didn’t have a response for that so he opted to give Jason a sad smile as he reached for his still trembling hand. “Would you mind if I slept with you tonight?” 

Jason stared at him like he was trying to pick apart a meaning behind Dick’s words and Dick was reminded of what Talia had implied during her last visit.

“Just sleeping. Next to each other. I’m not trying anything, I just, well, want to be here for you.”

Jason still watched him for a moment before finally nodding.

Dick tugged him lightly by the hand but let go as he settled himself into his bed. He stayed facing Jason but kept his distance. “Let’s try to get a bit more rest.”

Jason took at least an hour to fall asleep, but eventually his breathing evened out and Dick was able to get to sleep. 

What felt like only minutes later, but was probably a few hours judging by the sunlight he could see through the curtains, he woke up to find Jason in his arms, still asleep. It was probably the most peaceful he’d ever seen Jason look, even back when he’d been Robin. 

Seeing him as he was, it did hit Dick that Jason had grown to be really handsome. It wasn’t that Dick hadn’t noticed, but he hadn’t exactly had the time or opportunity to just admire how nicely Jason had grown.

Eventually he did realize that he had to move. Jason was likely not going to react well to waking up with arms around him. Slowly, hoping he wouldn’t wake him, Dick pulled himself away from Jason.

It did wake Jason, but he woke far less violently this time, presumably since no one was touching him. 

His brows scrunched up and then he slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times, and he looked mildly started to see Dick there before he seemed to remember the night before and he just looked a bit embarrassed instead. 

“Morning,” Dick said barely above a whisper.

Jason nodded and then got up and walked out of the room where Dick could hear him messing with stuff in the kitchen.

Dick followed, but kept his distance for Jason’s comfort, watching him from the other side of the kitchen. “Despite how much I visit, I don’t think I’ve tried any of your cooking.”

The cat came trotting in, apparently also interested in getting food. “We named it after you fell asleep,” Jason told him when he cat started meowing at him. 

“What did you guys decide on?”

“Meg. From that Hercules movie.”

“I’m guessing Steph suggested it?” Dick knelt down to pet her but she clearly wasn’t in the mood for anything other than food and deftly avoided his hand.

“Tim,” Jason said, tossing a bit of ham down for Meg. “Steph agreed.” 

“You guys could’ve woken me up. I’m here to spend time with you, I can sleep at home.”

Jason shrugged. “You were tired.” 

“I can sleep when I’m home,” Dick repeated.

Jason just shook his head, apparently no longer willing to engage in the disagreement, and went back to making what looked to be omelets for them. 

Dick was a little curious at Jason’s ability to cook. He didn’t think it would be something the League taught but Jason had always had an interest in it. “Did you learn to cook with the League?”

“Huh? Oh, no. I mean, survival food, yes, but actual cooking, no.”

“So how’d you learn? I mean you used to cook with Alfred, but I wasn’t sure if you remembered any of that.”

“I don’t know. I just know. Like I knew how to fight even before Talia.” Jason shrugged. “Muscle memory?” 

“If it’s muscle memory then I know it’ll be great. You used to love cooking.”

“Did I?”

“Yeah. You were always excited when Alfred taught you something. Or you could’ve just liked hanging out with Alf.”

“Equally likely options,” Jason said, handing him a plate. 

Dick didn’t wait to sit down to dig in. “Yeah,” he sighed happily, “Still just as talented.”

Meg was suddenly interested in him now that he had a plate, pawing at his leg and mewing pitifully.

Dick gave her head a little apologetic scratch. “Sorry Meg, but I’m pretty sure you can’t have any of the garlic in these eggs.”

She stuck around to beg both of them for food for a few minutes, but went to the living room when she seemed to realize they weren’t budging. 

“I need to start letting you cook for me more instead of always buying take out whenever I come over.”

Jason shrugged. “I don’t mind.” He didn’t bother to clarify if he meant he didn’t mind cooking or didn’t mind the takeout.

“Well,” Dick said as he finished off his plate, “I’m probably overstaying my welcome so I should get out of your hair.”

“I do usually go on a run in the mornings,” Jason agreed. 

“I’ll go.” Dick reach out to give Jason’s hand a little squeeze, “But if have any more nightmares, don’t hesitate to give me a call on the emergency line and I’ll be right over or we can just talk about it.”

Jason nodded, but Dick got the sense from his expression that Jason wouldn’t actually call him for that. 

“I mean it. Call me.”

“I know that you mean it,” Jason said, which still wasn’t an agreement, but Dick decided not to push it right now. Jason had never been a particularly open person, and trying to force him to be would likely just serve to close him off further. 

So, he pulled him into a hug, moving slow enough that Jason knew what he was trying to do, and headed out to go home. 

* * *

It was very clear that Jason understood that Dick didn’t like killing. His understanding of why, or that he shouldn’t do it, however, left something to be desired. 

And this became clear once more when, not even a day after Dick had passively complained about a new gang making his nightlight difficult, he found all of the major members dead in their base of operation, seemingly from decapitation by sword. 

Dick showed up at Jason’s that night as Nightwing; it felt more appropriate for the conversation they were going to have. He was, well he was obviously mad, but he didn’t exactly want to show that he was. Jason thought he was doing the right thing and helping him and he wasn’t going to be angry about that.

Jason’s brows furrowed when he noticed the Nightwing suit upon opening the door, but he still moved out of the way to let Dick in.

Actually seeing Jason did make it harder to be mad at him, which was good, because Dick wasn’t going to show him he was angry. He hoped. Jason was pretty good at picking up on things Dick didn’t want him to though. “Jay,” he started calmly, “I know you’re trying to help, and I appreciate it, but you know I don’t like or approve of taking lives.”

Jason frowned a bit, and Dick wondered for a second if he was going to deny it, and if Dick would be able to believe him if he did, but Jason didn’t. “They were bad.” 

“Yes they were, but that doesn’t mean that they deserved to die.”

“Then who does?” Jason demanded, starting to look frustrated. “I died. And the person that killed me got to keep killing until I did something about it.”

“No one,” Dick said simply, keeping calm in the face of Jason’s anger. Anger he hadn’t expected, but maybe should have. “Everyone deserves to live to either atone for their wrongs or to suffer through the consequences.”

“Unless they don’t. Arkham is broken out of all the time. Half the bad guys don’t even make it to lock up. Why are their lives worth more than the lives of the people they hurt?” Had Jason just been keeping all of this in because he didn’t want to upset Dick? 

“They’re not, but we can’t pick and choose who we want to live or die. That makes us no better than them.”

Jason’s eyes narrowed at him. “I am better than the Joker. I stopped him from hurting innocent people.” 

Dick couldn’t help hearing Talia’s words running through his head,  _ “And who do you think he’ll come running back to when you inevitably can’t handle what he’ll do to people?” _ Dick refused to let that happen. He wasn’t losing Jason again. Besides, there was that small niggling in his chest that was a little relieved that he’d never have to worry about the Joker again. He was ashamed of it, but he couldn’t deny it was there.

“Look Jason, I know that we can both argue this until we’re blue in the face and we both still won’t agree. It’s something you and Bruce used to do a lot, and I don’t want to do that. But can we at least agree that not every bad person deserves to die? The men tonight were bad, but I could’ve caught them, they would’ve gone to jail and we would never see them again.”

“You think too highly of your justice system,” Jason informed him. 

“Maybe, but partnering with the justice system is just how I do things. I know I already said it, but I do appreciate that you want to help but not everything needs to end in death.”

Jason tilted his chin up defiantly. “How you do things does not need to be how I do things.” 

“No, I guess not.” It wasn’t as if all heroes worked and functioned the same way. He’d never been able to fault Wonder Woman for her casualties and he’d never brought up the previous Aquaman’s ability to sentence his criminals to death. Still though, “I would appreciate it if you were just a little more picky about who you decide to off.”

“A murderer and gang members who have been shooting at you and sell drugs to children,” he said flatly. 

“Would that be where you draw the line? I’m only asking so I know what to expect.”

Jason looked at him like he was trying to pick apart Dick’s words and find some hidden double meaning to what he was saying or some kind of trap in the words. He stepped forward into Dick’s space, and Dick wasn’t sure what to expect, but all Jason did was tap his mask to indicate he wanted it off. 

And while Dick had wanted to have this conversation as Nightwing, he willingly obliged and peeled it off, letting Jason see that he wasn’t trying to trick him into admitting or promising something.

“Crimes with children. Violent or deadly attacks against innocent people,” Jason finally said after a few minutes. “I don’t want Nightwing here anymore.” 

“Okay,” Dick said with a small nod. “Are you okay with Dick, or should I just go?”

Jason considered him for a moment, seeming to debate this with himself before deciding, “Dick can stay.” 

Dick beamed at him. “Then can I borrow some clothes?”

Jason nodded, leading Dick to his room and picking out a tshirt and jeans for him, which looked to be some of Dick’s old clothes that he must have missed when clearing out his stuff. 

“Thanks, and Jay,” Dick said as he started to strip off his suit, having long since stopped caring about modesty, “You don’t have to worry about people shooting at me. I’m used to it.” 

Jason didn’t answer him, just looked away to give him privacy to change. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got it all out before 3B!! But first a few things.   
> TW for implied/referenced past dubcon because of the nature of Talia and Jason's previous relationship, along with the referenced underage warning that comes with talking about Terra and Slade. Also TW for one panic attack.   
> Speaking of Terra though, I'll be real Crysty and I don't actually like her that much from previous adaptations so focusing on her already wasn't a huge interest for us, and because her story is pretty well known from previous adaptations and we weren't really planning to change it we really skim over that part in this. It just didn't seem worth it to rehash that story. So if her stuff seems rushed... it is. We just couldn't not include her in a post 3A fic though.   
> Thank you guys so much for reading through this fic! And we hope you enjoy it! Comments and kudos appreciated. -Kate

Dick thought it would be a fun outing to let Jason meet the new kids, and that it might do him some good to get out of New Jersey. M’gann might also be able to help him with his memories. Not going through them, because Dick knew she didn’t do that anymore, but possibly at least get them to stop hurting Jason. It also seemed reasonable that while it was a lot of people for Jason, he didn’t know Conner or M’gann that well before he died, and he certainly didn’t know the new team members, so he most likely wouldn’t get overwhelmed by memories being around them. 

He got through introductions with Violet, Foreger (only seeming mildly bemused), and Victor, but when Terra and Brion came over he grabbed at Dick’s sleeve to get his attention even as he kept his face blank and nodded an acknowledgment at their introductions.  

Dick maneuvered his hand so that Jason’s would just slip into his and held it to let him know he noticed. “Now I know it’s always fun meeting new people but let’s not overwhelm Jason with too much attention.” It was as much of a dismissal as he could give and they all split to do their own thing. Dick waited until all of them, save for Conner who would hear if they were in the area at all, we’re out of earshot. “What’s up, Jay?”

“I know her,” he said, eyes flicking over to Terra to indicate who he was talking about and then quickly back over to Dick. 

“Not surprising since we just saved her from meta trafficking that the League was involved in.” But for some reason just knowing her wasn’t what Dick thought Jason seemed so worried about.

“What? No,” Jason shook his head, frowning. “No she works with Deathstroke.” 

“With? Not forced to?”

“With. They are…” Jason’s brows scrunched together as he tried to think of the right word. “Like me and Talia. Except...more?” And Jason couldn’t possibly know what Talia had implied to him about her and Jason’s relationship, but the ‘more’ pretty much confirmed that it was like what Talia had implied, but perhaps an actual relationship. Or what Terra thought was a relationship, given her age. “She is a strong weapon. Deathstroke wouldn’t have given that up.”  

And Dick never felt more of an urge to just vomit because that was disturbing and disgusting. “We’ll need to keep a better eye on her. Thanks Jay.”

“You can’t tell them who I am. She’ll know I know. She only knows me as Red Hood, she hasn’t seen me without the mask.” 

“Well I definitely wasn’t planning to. Brion has a few… temper issues and doesn’t exactly have fond memories of his visit to Infinity Island.”

“We should go. I can meet your alien friend later. She might notice if I’m around her too much.” Although the way that Jason was glancing between her and Dick in what would be subtle to anyone not raised by Batman, Dick got the impression Jason more just wanted to get Dick away from someone he perceived to be a threat. 

“Sure,” and because Dick was still holding Jason’s hand, he gave it another squeeze. He’d let go if Jason made any indication that he was uncomfortable, but for the time being he liked having the weight of Jason’s hand in his.

Jason led him back to the zeta tube and they emerged at Dick’s apartment, since Jason’s wasn’t yet set up for that. “You shouldn’t leave her with your team.” 

“Well Conner definitely heard our conversation and if he knows then so does M’gann and soon Artemis. They’ll be keeping an eye on things.”

“She’s probably already told Deathstroke the location of the team,” Jason insisted. 

“I’ll text them and tell them to be prepared, but I trust my team. They’ll be able to handle whatever Terra and Deathstroke are planning. I’ll have to go back some time to make sure things are going smoothly though.”

Jason frowned at him, but didn’t argue with him for the moment. “I will go with you.” 

“You should have a little more faith in us,” Dick chuckled, “But I’d like that. We’ll go back tomorrow. It’d be a little suspicious to go back now.”

Jason simply nodded his agreement, finally pulling his hand away from Dick’s to pace around his apartment. 

“Is Terra the only thing bugging you? Or is there something else you need to share?”

Jason glanced over at him. “What do you mean?” 

Dick watched pointedly as Jason made his second lap around his living room. “You just look like you have something on your mind.”

“The fact that you have a spy in your team isn’t enough to have on my mind?” 

“I’m just asking to make sure. You have this bad habit of bottling your emotions and fears instead of letting me help with them.”

“I am  _ afraid  _ she will hurt you,” Jason grit out. “And I _ feel _ that I cannot do much about it, because she is a child and I do not want to harm or kill children. There. Fear and emotion.”  

“Okay, come here.” Dick pulled him down onto the couch with him and kicked off his shoes to throw his legs over Jason’s lap so he couldn’t get up to keep pacing and fidgeting. “We’re going to be fine, especially now that we know she’s working with Deathstroke. If she’s actually staying in contact with him during her stay with the team then it’s actually a benefit for us. It gives us a better chance of tracking him down and hopefully getting a step ahead of the Light.”

Jason did look mildly reassured, but still felt the need to tell him, “I still want to go with you when you’re going to be near her.” 

“Alright.” And with that, Dick felt he could drop his legs from Jason’s lap, but it also came with a niggling question in the back of his mind that he wasn’t sure he even wanted the answer to. “Can I ask you an uncomfortable question?”

“Can I not answer?” Jason asked, tilting his head and giving Dick a curious look. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“Then you can ask whatever you want.” 

“You said earlier that Terra and Deathstroke were like you and Talia, and Talia implied something like that when she came here. I guess what I’m trying to ask is, well, did she… did she touch you?”

“You mean for sex?” Jason asked, but answered before Dick could, “Yes, sometimes, but Terra and Deathstroke seemed … more than that to me. At least for Terra. Deathstroke was more like Talia.” 

Not surprising given Terra’s age but that really only made it more disturbing. “Were you okay with her touching you?”

“I didn’t really think much of anything about it,” Jason admitted. “She said to, and so we did, and then she would leave and everything was still the same. It was kind of … impersonal. Like Deathstroke. But I am not Terra, which may have been what she wanted from it, I’m not sure.” 

Even though he had been the one that asked, he hated that he got the confirmation. He’d really hoped that Talia had lied for once in her life just to unease him. “Maybe that is what she wanted. She took advantage of you while you were vulnerable to her and...” Dick could feel his nails biting into his palm. He could only remember being this angry a handful of times and each of those times he’d had to talk himself out of hunting down the source of his anger. “She took advantage of you,” he repeated.

Jason reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently like he was trying to comfort Dick even though Dick was upset on Jason’s behalf. “I’m aware,” he said simply. 

“Then why aren’t you just as angry?” If it had been Dick, Jason would’ve probably been furious. But maybe that was it. If Dick himself had been the victim, he couldn’t imagine him being as angry as he was at the moment, which either said a lot about how much they cared for each other, or how little they cared about themselves. Or both. It was probably both. “I had really hoped she was lying just to throw me off or something.”

“I have too many feelings surrounding Talia. Maybe I’ll be angrier when I work through enough of them to get to that.” 

“And when that happens, I’ll be right here, still just as angry for you.” Dick moved to lace his fingers with Jason’s, giving his best attempt at a comforting smile.

“I know. You’re very insistent on this ‘being there’ philosophy of yours.” 

“It’s how I show I care.”

“I know,” he repeated, and offered Dick a small smile. 

Dick almost wanted to take a picture of him just to store his smile away with how little he did it. He leaned some of his weight on Jason’s side, the closest he could get to snuggling without Jason lashing out, and reached for the remote. “Let’s do something that isn’t as upsetting as this topic.”

“Okay,” Jason agreed. 

* * *

Jason managed to pretend friendliness with Terra really well actually. It was probably the friendliest he’d seen Jason actually, and he wondered if it was League training because if he didn’t know Jason he wouldn’t suspect it. 

_ “He isn’t acting like he’s suspicious of her,”  _ Dick heard M’gann say in his mind.

_ “He is. He’s not this friendly normally. I don’t think I’ve seen him smile this much in the entire time he’s been away from the Leauge,”  _ he thought back, “ _ have you guys noticed anything suspicious?” _

_ “She does sneak off every now and then, but Conner hasn’t heard any conversations so she’s likely texting Deathstroke if they’re staying in contact.” _

M’gann and Conner both emerged from their house and moved to join Dick in watching Jason and Terra. “You don’t mind helping him with the head pains?” He asked out loud. 

Jason seemed to notice them, and that they were watching him, and excused himself away from Terra and Forager, walking over to look between them curiously.

“Of course I don’t mind, as long you’re alright with it.”

“I’m not exactly sure what I’m alright with. Dick said you had psychic powers?” 

“Yes, but I’m not going to be delving into any memories or thoughts. We’re just going to see if we can make remembering less… painful, I guess.” Dick could tell it was a little weird for her to talk to him like they were strangers. They hadn’t been all that close when Jason had been on the Team, but they were still on it together, they had still worked together. Conner too, who’d liked Jason because he’d seen a lot of his younger self in the angry Robin, and had tried to guide him a little bit. 

Jason hesitated, but glanced at Dick again and nodded. “Okay.” 

“Okay. We can do it whenever you’re ready. I understand if you have more questions.”

“No, now is better,” Jason said, shaking his head. “If you can get rid of my headache I want it gone.” 

“Well, I guess there’s no point in waiting then.” M’gann took a step closer to him and raised her hands to his temples. “It’ll take a few minutes, but it shouldn’t hurt.” Her eyes started to glow green and Jason looked like he’d fallen into a trance.

Watching and waiting for her to do this was always the hardest part. Sure, Dick trusted M’gann completely with Jason’s mind, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel the slight edge of nerves during the process.

_ “His mind is… well it was damaged. Quite literally, which seems to be what blocked off his memories initially, but the pit seems to have healed that for the most part. I think part of it is catching up with the healing that shouldn’t have been able to happen, but also a protective factor, based on what you’ve told me about his experiences,”  _ Dick heard in his mind. 

_ “Can you heal him? Even if he can’t get back the memories?” _

_ “I can try, but I’ve never done something like this before. Or seen anything like it.” _

_ “I trust you.” _

They were both silent for what Dick felt was an eternity but from the look Conner was giving him, it was probably closer to twenty minutes. M’gann gently let go of Jason’s temples and took a step back.

“I’m not sure if I managed to get everything, it is the first time I’m doing this, but you shouldn’t feel any more pain from your memories.”

Jason blinked a few times, lightly touching his own temple. “It doesn’t hurt,” he said, sounding a little surprised. “I’m looking at you three and it doesn’t hurt.” Which was… a revelation. Dick hadn’t realized just being in their presence was hurting Jason. The smile tugging at Jason’s lips now though was definitely more genuine than the one he’d been giving Terra that afternoon, now that Dick could see it to compare. 

“I can’t believe you let me be around you so much when you were in constant pain.” Dick pulled Jason into a hug, giving him time to back away if he wanted.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Jason said, but the look M'gann gave him was definitely outing him for lying.

“You terrible, horrible, liar.” Dick pulled away just enough to look up at him. “No more pain?”

Jason shook his head. “I don’t know what she did, but it worked.” He glanced at M’gann. “Thank you.”

_ “Thank you,” _ Dick repeated sending her a grateful look.

“Of course, guys.” And not for the first time, Dick was glad she was on their side.  _ “And Dick, maybe later we can talk about your… relationship.” _ Then again, she was a little too observant sometimes.

_ “I don’t know what you mean.” _

_ “You keep trying to tell us that, buddy.” _ He heard Conner’s voice in his mind and had to keep himself from groaning out loud.

Something must have shown on his face though, because Jason was looking between the three of them like he was trying to figure something out.

“Don’t worry about it, Jay,” Dick gave his cheek a pat, which got him a pointed look from Conner that he completely ignored and an annoyed look from Jason who batted his hand away. It was a little harsher than probably necessary, but he wasn’t nearly attacking Dick, so it was still progress. 

Jason went back to talk to the new kids again. He and Violet seemed to get along, which Brion had definitely noticed. But Brion glanced over at Dick and seemed to relax a little, so apparently he was obvious to almost everyone. 

_ “You know you’ll have to talk about it at some point,” _ M’gann tried again.

_ “Batman code: no I don’t.” _ That got him a little laugh from them, but he knew the topic was far from being dropped.

Jason eventually decided he wanted to leave, and got Dick out of being confronted again. Jason refused to let them set up a zeta tube connection to his apartment, so they were walking from Dick’s now. “Terra doesn’t trust me.” 

“But she doesn’t seem suspicious of you.”

“You were talking to your friends. She was asking me about how I know you, and why M’gann was going through my mind.” 

“It would still be a bit of a leap for her to think you were connected to the League. I don’t think she really trusts anybody right now.”

“No, she doesn’t know I was League, she just doesn’t trust me.” 

“Again, I don’t think she trusts anyone.”

“If she puts together too much and Deathstroke talks to Talia, he might figure out that I’m here and that I know who she is.” 

“Then did you want to visit them less? I can’t exactly stop going, they are my team.”

“No, if you’re going I’m going. She’s dangerous.” 

Dick had to hold in his laugh. It was cute that Jason worried. “Alright. Even if she doesn’t trust you, I think you’ve been doing a pretty good job at staying unsuspicious. If I didn’t know you, I’d be pretty convinced that you’re actually that friendly.”

“Most people respond better to a calm friendly attitude. It’s part of why you’re a popular hero,” he said with a shrug.

“Right you are.”

“It’s tiring, I don’t know how you do it all the time.” 

“That’s because it’s natural for me. You’re putting on an act.”

“You act,” Jason said very surely. 

“Jay, I’m offended that you don’t think that I’m naturally this friendly.”

“Richard Grayson,” he countered.

Dick couldn’t really deny that. It was hard not putting on an act in front of cameras and reporters that only want a story. “I don’t have to do that that often.”

Jason flashed him a smile that looked a lot like Dick’s camera ready Richard Grayson smile if it weren’t for the slight mocking edge to it. “There are several pictures that would disagree with you,” he said, dropping the expression almost as quickly as he’d put it up. 

Dick didn’t like how that smile looked on his face, which was probably the point. “Compared to how much I’m doing my regular work with the team, on my own, and now spending time with you, I really don’t have to do it that much. But you’re right, it does get exhausting.”

“Not as much as Batman,” Jason agreed. 

“Definitely not. I don’t know how he does it. Tim does a lot of publicity stunts too. You always hated them.”

Jason grimaced, the exact expression he’d make when Bruce tried to get him in front of a camera. “Yes that sounds right.” 

“Every time you had a publicity event you’d run to the Team just to be out of Gotham.” Dick chuckled at the memory.

“It’s very bad for maintaining a secret identity, I don’t know why you do it at all.” 

“It’s actually pretty good for the secret identity. No one expects a flippant idiot to care enough to go out at night to protect the city.”

“The entire League knows your secret identities.” 

“I like to think that they would’ve figured it out no matter who we were as civilians.”

Jason seemed to consider it as they reached the apartment building. “Well Superman writes about himself all the time, so that’s too easy. But the Flash is just a guy, and we know him too, so I guess you’re right.” 

“Give Big Blue some credit. He gets away with a lot considering he doesn’t wear a mask.” Dick pulled Jason in for his usual hug when they reached his apartment and flashed a smile at him. “See you soon?”

Jason nodded, and for the first time he actually hugged Dick back instead of just tolerating Dick hugging him and Dick couldn’t remember ever feeling so warm inside. 

“Hey, I know I already said it, but I mean it. You don’t have to worry too much. We can handle ourselves. But I do appreciate it.”

“I know. It’s just … nice? It’s nice to be able to be around you without it hurting,” Jason said, pulling back. 

“I still can’t believe you were in constant pain from seeing us.” Dick reached up to brush Jason’s hair back.

Jason shrugged like it was no big deal. 

“I wish I could be more mad at you about this but this is clearly just a trait you learned from me and Bruce.” Well it was in part. Jason definitely had the habit of downplaying his injuries and pain before they got to him.

“Mad at me for what? I thought you knew.” 

“For telling me it didn’t hurt as badly as it apparently did. You’re not the only one who worries.”

“I don’t think I ever gave you any kind of pain level, even now.” 

“You didn’t but it clearly hurt more than you’re implying, but again, I can’t be mad, I do it too.” Dick took a step away from Jason just to re-establish personal space. “Good night, Jay.”

“Good night, Dick.”

* * *

Dick hadn’t actually wanted to prove his point about how much he downplayed his own pain so soon after they had that conversation but still, here he was, more falling against Jason’s door than knocking. He would’ve preferred patching himself up back at his own place rather than worrying Jason, but he could only get so far with a bullet in his thigh.

Jason opened the door and his expression went completely blank when he saw the injury. He helped Dick to the coach, where Meg hissed at him for taking her spot. 

“Who did it?” Jason asked calmly. Too calm. To the point where it was almost strained. 

“They’re already on their way to jail, Jay. They just got in a lucky shot.” Dick was glad to see Jason hadn’t moved the first aid kit from underneath the couch where Dick liked to keep it.

“Who?” Jason asked again. 

Despite still bleeding and needing to tend to his wound, Dick reached out to give Jason’s hand a squeeze. “It doesn’t matter, Jay. I’ll be fine.”

“It matters,” Jason insisted, the strain finally making its way into his voice.

“Come here,” Dick gave his arm a little tug to get him to sit next to him before moving to peel off his gloves, mask, and the pants of his suit. “I know you don’t like it but in this line of work, I’m bound to get hurt every now and then, and I know you know that. It happens. You don’t need to hunt down everyone that manages to get lucky. Now come on, help me clean this up a little,” he gestured at his wound.

Jason appeared torn for a moment, but finally seemed to decide dealing with Dick’s injury was also important, and silently got to work on that. 

Dick waited until Jason had managed to pull the bullet out and started to stitch him up to ask. “Do you mind if I stay over tonight?” Sure part of it was just him not wanting to make the trek back, but he also just wanted to make sure Jason wouldn’t run off to try and find the person that hit him.

Jason bit his lower lip as he seemed to consider it, putting the bandages on Dick’s wound, clearly aware of what Dick was up to. “You can stay. I’ll be back,” he said, getting to his feet. 

Dick reached for his hand, needing to stop himself from abruptly grabbing him. “Can you stay with me? I can’t really get around all that easily, it’d be easier if you were around.”

“Dick, someone hurt you,” Jason said quietly, lips tilted down. 

Dick gave his arm a gentle tug, wanting him back on the couch next to him. “I know, but I’ll be okay. The person who hurt me looks a lot worse than I do.”

Jason looked pointedly at Dick’s leg and back to his face with clear disbelief, refusing to budge towards the couch. 

“I promise, I handled him. All I need right now is you by my side as moral support and maybe as a crutch.” Dick gave his arm another little tug. “Come here, or I’m going to have to go to you.”

Jason reluctantly let Dick pull him onto the couch, still glancing at the door like he wanted to change his mind. 

“Jay,” Dick cupped his cheek to get him to look at him, “I love that you care and that you worry, but you don’t need to avenge me every time I get hurt. It happens and half the time it’s because I’m being careless.”

“But-“ Jason frowned at him. “I have to do  _ something _ .”

“Just be here for me. It’s all I need.”

Jason continued to frown, but he stayed put, leaning into Dick’s hand a bit.  

Dick couldn’t fight the fond smile that found its way to his face, his thumb just barely grazing Jason’s cheek. “I’ll be fine.”

“Of course you will be. You couldn’t have stopped me if you wouldn’t be.” 

“I guess you have a point.” Dick hadn’t realized he was moving closer to Jason or that his eyes had fluttered shut until their foreheads touched. And then he felt Jason’s lips on his and Jason was moving his hands to cup Dick’s face. 

The kiss was brief, but it still took his breath away. “Jay?” Jason didn’t answer him, instead leaning in to kiss him again, one of his hands moving to tangle in Dick’s hair and Dick just let his worries drown away for the moment and just lost himself in Jason. At least he did until Talia’s words flashed through his mind and he had to pull away.

“Jason.”

Jason leaned back, concern flashing across his face. “What’s wrong? Should I not have…? It seemed like- should I not have?” He finally settled on. 

“No, no that’s not it. It’s just- I need to make sure. You want this, right? This isn’t something you’re doing just because I want you to?”

Jason frowned at him. “I am not Terra. And you are not Talia. I kissed you because I wanted to, and it seemed like you wanted me to as well.” 

“I did.” Dick bit his lip. “I do. I just needed to make sure.”

“Are you sure now?” Jason asked.

“Yes.” And Dick pulled him back in, which Jason easily went along with until Dick had Jason laying down on the couch half on top of him and Meg jumped up and started hissing at him.  

Dick looked up at her only to press his face into Jason’s shoulder to stifle his laugh. “I think she thinks I’m trying to hurt you.”

“I think you’re right,” Jason said, grabbing her just before she could swipe her claws at Dick. 

“Would you say I’m trying to hurt you?” Dick smiled down at him and pushed himself off.

“No,” he said honestly, “but I can’t communicate that to her.”

“Then I guess we can’t really do too much at your place.” Which was a little disappointing, but it was probably better if they took things a little slow.

“Meg isn’t allowed in my room,” Jason said with a shrug, but didn’t actually move to go to his room. So he probably had a similar idea about taking it slow at the moment, or maybe he just thought the mood was broken he could be hard to read sometimes. But he was letting Dick know for future reference as he scratched at Meg’s ears to calm her down, so that had to mean Jason wanted this to keep happening at least. 

 Dick pressed a kiss to Jason’s cheek, “I’ll keep that in mind. But assuming we’re not doing anything tonight, can I borrow a pair of pants? Maybe also a t-shirt?” Only wearing the top half of the suit always felt a little weird.

“You’re hurt. We’re not doing anything more tonight,” Jason confirmed, getting up to go retrieve some clothes. Meg curled up in the spot Jason had been sitting and swatted at his hand when he tried to reach out to pet her. His hope was that one of these days she’d like him with or without a food offering. At least she liked him more than Steph and Tim after the collar incident. 

Dick stripped off the rest of his suit as he waited for Jason and settled himself in by pulling the blanket Jason had left over the top of the couch over himself.

Jason returned and handed him the clothes. “Do you need help?”

“Maybe a little?” It was a kind of hard to kick the blanket over his feet when he only have one kicking leg. He had no idea how he was going to get pants on.

Jason nodded, and helped him out of the blanket and into the pants, being mindful of the injury the whole time. 

“Thank you,” Dick sighed in relief as they managed to get the pants fully on and he fell back to stretch out over the couch, trying to be mindful of Meg.

“You should rest. You can stay in my bed,” Jason suggested. 

“It’s alright. I’m already comfy on the couch.” Dick just really didn’t like the prospect of moving more than he needed to.

Jason considered him for a moment and then lifted him up bridal style to start carrying him to his room. 

Dick would deny the little squeak that did not come out of him when Jason picked him up as he scrambled to get his arms around his neck. Jason gently laid him down on the bed and Dick caught his arm before he could pull away, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Thanks Jay.”

“You’re welcome. Get some rest, Dick.” 

Dick gave Jason’s arm a little tug before he could move away completely. “You didn’t think I was going to let you sleep on the couch did you?”

“You’re injured,” Jason reminded him with a small frown. 

“We won’t do anything. I just like having you beside me.”

“I might injure you more,” Jason said softly. 

“You won’t.” It was something he was always going to be sure of.

“Not on purpose. But the last time you woke me up you ended up on the floor with me on top of you. With an injured leg something like that would hurt you.” 

“You won’t hurt me,” Dick repeated.

Jason didn’t look convinced, but he hesitantly got into the bed, as close to the edge as he could without falling off.

“Jay,” Dick reached over to find his hand underneath the blanket, “you’re not going to hurt me. I trust you, you should have a little more trust in yourself.”

“Even if I stop myself from attacking you in time, you are injured, any startled reaction could result in you being hurt that would not normally cause you pain.” 

“I’ll be fine, Jason, because no matter how badly you react, I know you would never hurt me, and that doesn’t change even if I’m injured. Now come closer before you fall off.”

“I’m not going to fall.” Jason grudgingly did move a few inches closer, but still left a decent amount of space between them. 

Dick moved his hand higher up until he was cupping Jason’s cheek. “You are the biggest worrywart I’ve ever met. But it’s sweet.”

* * *

They’d all been on their toes since Dick gave them the news about Terra’s potential betrayal so no one save for Brion, Violet and Victor were really all that surprised when Slade popped into their home unannounced and Terra sided with him the moment no one was looking.

That didn’t make the fight any easier or the loss any less great. Brion had tried to save Terra from the cave in she’d created when she seemed to have a change of heart after her brother tried to make her see reason, and Dick and Jason ended up saving him from his attempt. Slade seemingly disappeared which, while also unsurprising, was definitely frustrating and unsatisfying.

Brion was understandably angry at them and Victor and Violet, while not exactly angry, were definitely unhappy about not being told about Terra. Forager understood why they did what they did, but sided with the others, them being his friends and all.

Dick knew their displeasure and anger would pass, knew that they didn’t tell them for a reason, but that didn’t make the sting hurt any less or the doubt and guilt Dick always felt when he lied to his team any less strong.

It was nice to have Jason by his side throughout all of it for a change, because while Jason didn’t make all the doubt and guilt go away, he made it better, and that was all Dick could really ask for.

* * *

It was only days after Terra that Talia made her move, striking while they were still shaken. Bruce had come over to Jason’s apartment, with Damien much to Jason’s annoyance since he was still apparently upset about Damian screaming during their entire escape, and she simply walked in. 

“Batman, you have something of mine that I’d like to take back,” she said calmly. 

All of them had tensed and were on their feet and ready before she was even fully through the door. Bruce, conscious of having a baby in his hands, even let Dick step slightly in front of him. “I disagree,” was all Bruce muttered, fully Batman despite not having his cowl.

“I wasn’t aware Batman was in the business of stealing people’s babies,” she said casually as she pulled out her gun. “Now, you can hand him over, or I can shoot Red Hood, and the child right here. After all, if you’re keeping them they’re not particularly useful to me.” 

“And that’s exactly why you’re not getting either of them, they don’t exist to be of use to you,” Dick practically growled. 

“I believe I have as much custody over Damian as you do and you don’t have any over Jason.”

“Have it your way,” she shrugged. “I can always make another.” 

Jason was the one to react first when she aimed at Damian, grabbing her arm and changing the trajectory so that the bullet hit the ceiling instead. 

“Red Hood, stand down,” she growled at him. 

“No. You get out of my home,” he answered, grappling with her until he got the gun away. 

Dick joined into the fray once it looked like Talia was starting to gain an upper hand again. The main priority was keeping her away from Damian and stopping her from hurting Jason. Bruce seemed to agree which gave him the difficult decision of helping the two of them fend off Talia and keeping the baby with him for maximum protection. “Dick, take the baby and go,” was what he ultimately decided on, which made sense, Dick was the most agile, he just didn’t wholey like being taken out of the fight. Still, he took Damian from Bruce and was prepared to jump out the window but Talia somehow managed to block his exist while fighting both Jason and Bruce.

It was Bruce who finally got her pinned and she smiled up at him with more confidence than their position should have allowed. “And now what? Hmm? No jail on earth could hold me, you know that or you’d have locked me up by now. You can’t keep me here like this forever. And you won’t kill me, darling,” she practically purred. 

“I will,” Jason said flatly, stepping forward and pressing her gun to her head. 

“You? You don’t have what it takes to kill me. Not after everything I’ve done for you,” she dismissed, and then her eyes went wide as a shot went off and her shoulder started bleeding. 

“If you come after what I care about again, Batman will not be able to kill you, but I will,” Jason sounded angry now. “Because of what you have done to me rather than for me, and because I will not let you harm them.” 

“You’ll lose them,” she spat out, voice only a little strained from the pain she must be feeling. 

“Better than letting you kill them. Now get out. You’re injured and outnumbered. Tactical retreats are important to larger goals after all,” he said, pulling Bruce back with one hand while the other kept the gun trained on her. 

Dick wasn’t sure if Jason still wasn’t going to just kill her or if she would just leave but ultimately, she slowly backed out of the apartment, frustration colouring her face. Jason still didn’t lower the gun once she was out of sight, staring blankly at the window she’d left through. “Jay?” The gun started to shake and Dick realized that Jason was trembling. It was Bruce who caught him when Jason’s legs gave out from under him, as he was closer and Dick was still holding Damian, and knelt down with Jason as he started to struggle to get air into his lungs, holding Jason to his chest and trying to walk him through breathing. 

Dick was quick to fall to his knees, pushing Damian back towards Bruce, “switch with me,” he heard himself say even as Bruce let Dick take his place. “Jay, you did it, it’s over so you’re going to focus on my voice and breathe with me, okay?” Dick placed a hand on Jason’s chest and started counting to ten taking slow, even breaths, hoping Jason would start trying to do the same.

It took some time, but eventually Jason started to calm down in his arms, clutching tightly at Dick’s shirt. “I want to leave,” he managed quietly. 

Dick nodded, “Take Damian and the cat back to the manor, Bruce, I’m going to take him to my penthouse.” Bruce , for once, didn’t fight him on that, trusting him to help Jason through whatever he needed.

With some help Jason was able to get back to his feet and they made their way to Dick’s car where Jason spent the ride tensely watching the windows for followers. 

There was thankfully not many people by his penthouse and he managed to get Jason to his bed with minor struggle. Dick cupped Jason’s face with both hands to get him to look at him. “Jay, we’re okay, you did it.”

“I know,” Jason muttered, eyes still looking a little unfocused. 

“Then what’s wrong? Tell me what you’re feeling?” 

“Too much. I’m feeling too much,” he closed his eyes, lips pressed into a thin line. 

Dick’s hands dropped down to Jason’s shoulders, “then tell me how I can help.”

“Stay,” he said simply.  _ ‘You’ll lose them’. _ Talia has said, and Jason hadn’t disagreed with her.

Dick pulled Jason further up onto the bed, maneuvering them so Jason’s head rested on Dick’s shoulder and Dick had a hand running through Jason’s hair. “I’m not going anywhere.”

* * *

Jason didn’t have that many items to move into the apartment below Dick’s, but Dick still wanted to help. When he’d offered to help though he more meant with the actual box moving. 

He hadn’t really planned on being put on cat watching duty to make sure Meg didn’t run havoc through the building while Jason carted boxes into the apartment. He also hadn’t planned on it being so difficult. Meg was fast when she didn’t want to be grabbed. 

Jason gave him an annoyed look when he opened the door to bring the last box in and Meg darted out right between Jason’s legs. 

“Your cat’s a demon,” Dick panted.

“You are a trained crime fighter,” Jason said flatly, stepping inside to put the box down before looking out the door. “I don’t see her.” 

"She can’t get off this floor without learning how to open doors so it should be fine.”

“Unless someone else opens a door to get to their apartment,” Jason said, stepping out to look for her. 

“A demon, your cat,” Dick repeated, going out to help.

Dick ended up finding her and got bitten for picking her up. Jason sighed at him, and made a very put upon show of unpacking the first aid kit and cleaning the bite and putting a bandaid on Dick’s hand. 

“At least I found her?”

“You let her out.” 

“I tried very hard to stop her from going out.”

“She’s practically a baby. It’s not that hard,” Jason said flatly. 

“Maybe for you since she actually likes you,” Dick grumbled.

“She likes you sometimes.”

“What makes me only likable sometimes?” Dick pouted at the cat.

“When you have something she wants she likes you a lot,” Jason grinned at him. 

“That’s not actually liking me and you know it.” Dick’s heart did swoon a little at Jason’s smile though. “So, what else did you need help with?”

“You can unpack the clothes,” Jason offered, moving to start digging through another box with books. 

Because of how little Jason had, they managed to unpack everything within a few hours, which gave Dick plenty of time to wrangle Jason onto the couch and into some form of cuddling and order food. “Now you’re completely sure you’re okay with living so close to me?” Dick had already asked that a ton, from the night Jason decided he wanted to move, up until Jason was putting things in boxes.

“I’ll move if I don’t like it,” Jason shrugged. 

“If you’re sure,” Dick dropped his head into the crook on Jason’s neck.

“I like being around you more without the headache, so yes, I’m sure.” 

“I still can’t believe you just lived with a splitting headache and didn’t tell me.”

“I did tell you,” Jason huffed defensively. “I said I didn’t want to stay with any of you because of it.” 

“You didn’t tell me how bad it was,” Dick insisted.

Jason shrugged, pulling him into a kiss in a very transparent attempt at distracting him. 

“Cheater,” Dick mumbled but still leaned in for more.

“We’ve had this conversation too many times. It’s boring. Kissing isn’t boring.”

“I guess I can’t argue with that.” Dick settled in back against Jason, more content than he could ever remember being.


End file.
